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Parent Emeritus
I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 412117" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>of course he hates you, he is not getting his way. stop stop stop giving him money. he needs to know you are angry and he should not be so bold as to call you names. been there done that with my son many many times. My son's 4th DUI in the 4th county led to a prison term. he had spent time in 4 county jails but this was state prison. </p><p></p><p>read Boundaries by townsend and cloud and set some up. your son has some hard lessons to learn. do not ever let him live with you again. yes he will HATE that and he will have a hard time for a while. you might also make him actually grow up by not continuing to (s)mother him. he needs a reality check not to be coddled. I also lost my birdfeeder when I threw my son out at 18, one of the many times. in fact just last month I finally replaced all the interior doors he either kicked or hit in my home during his worst days.</p><p></p><p>I have told my son two years ago when he was 25 and fresh out of prison that he had two months to live here and then had to get out. read what Donna said in this post. you do not want that to be you. my son still gets angry and swears at times and that is when we have a long estrangement. the last years he lived here he used up all the bad behavior I could take. </p><p></p><p>it is more loving to make them learn that the world has limits and rules. no one out there would put up with that stuff. he needs to learn that at home. do not think for one minute that you are helping him if you let him live with you again. this is a crisis and that equals opportunity...for change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 412117, member: 97"] of course he hates you, he is not getting his way. stop stop stop giving him money. he needs to know you are angry and he should not be so bold as to call you names. been there done that with my son many many times. My son's 4th DUI in the 4th county led to a prison term. he had spent time in 4 county jails but this was state prison. read Boundaries by townsend and cloud and set some up. your son has some hard lessons to learn. do not ever let him live with you again. yes he will HATE that and he will have a hard time for a while. you might also make him actually grow up by not continuing to (s)mother him. he needs a reality check not to be coddled. I also lost my birdfeeder when I threw my son out at 18, one of the many times. in fact just last month I finally replaced all the interior doors he either kicked or hit in my home during his worst days. I have told my son two years ago when he was 25 and fresh out of prison that he had two months to live here and then had to get out. read what Donna said in this post. you do not want that to be you. my son still gets angry and swears at times and that is when we have a long estrangement. the last years he lived here he used up all the bad behavior I could take. it is more loving to make them learn that the world has limits and rules. no one out there would put up with that stuff. he needs to learn that at home. do not think for one minute that you are helping him if you let him live with you again. this is a crisis and that equals opportunity...for change. [/QUOTE]
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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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