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Parent Emeritus
I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 412229" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>I was just thinking the same thing. All of our difficult child's are manipulative and they all know what limit they have to go to to make us cave. We all have our caving limits. My difficult child is never ever verbally abusive to me ever, but maybe it's because I cave before he ever had to get to that point. Who knows?? I don't believe your son hates you for one second, but he probably knows that will tear your heart apart and you will do anything for him not to feel that way about you. </p><p></p><p>6 years ago when my son first got arrested and admitted he was an addict and he was robbing us blind and I threw him out of our house at 18 years old, I started going to alanon and really worked it and learned to detatch and not enable him, and I'll never forget after he had been in the state rehab for awhile and I went to a parent meeting and he said at that meeting that he hated me going to alanon, but he said it with a big smile on his face, and then he admitted to everyone that it was the best thing I did for him. Your son will thank you someday for not enabling him. I truly believe that. </p><p></p><p>Now I have to keep remembering those words my son said 6 years ago to remind myself that not enabling him is the best thing I can do for him <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 412229, member: 2442"] I was just thinking the same thing. All of our difficult child's are manipulative and they all know what limit they have to go to to make us cave. We all have our caving limits. My difficult child is never ever verbally abusive to me ever, but maybe it's because I cave before he ever had to get to that point. Who knows?? I don't believe your son hates you for one second, but he probably knows that will tear your heart apart and you will do anything for him not to feel that way about you. 6 years ago when my son first got arrested and admitted he was an addict and he was robbing us blind and I threw him out of our house at 18 years old, I started going to alanon and really worked it and learned to detatch and not enable him, and I'll never forget after he had been in the state rehab for awhile and I went to a parent meeting and he said at that meeting that he hated me going to alanon, but he said it with a big smile on his face, and then he admitted to everyone that it was the best thing I did for him. Your son will thank you someday for not enabling him. I truly believe that. Now I have to keep remembering those words my son said 6 years ago to remind myself that not enabling him is the best thing I can do for him :) [/QUOTE]
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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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