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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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<blockquote data-quote="troubled" data-source="post: 415952"><p>I evicted my 19 year old daughter in Feb this year. I know the hurt, the disappointment and worry you feel. At this point I don't even know where my difficult child is and it's sometimes just as painful as knowing that she's out there struggling just to survive. Her father is my ex and at age 56 he still depends on his 78 year old mother. That poor woman has had to work hard all her life and still can't retire because if she did, her son and his family would have to do without. It's her choice to support (enable) him still while he claims he can't work because '' He's my son,". He does nothing for her or his wife and won't (not can't) take care of his own kids. He has bipolar disorder and is an alcoholic. That never stopped him from chasing women, spending every cent drinking at bars and hanging around with other criminal types and eventually marrying and having even more kids who he did not support. All this he did but he couldn't stand being told what to do. So his mother will be enabling him until she dies for the sole reason that he is her son. </p><p></p><p>I warned my difficult child that I was not going to be like her Grandma and support her until I am dead because she thinks she can live the good life and do nothing while someone else does all the work and pays all the bills. She won't even clean her own stuff up and she left one person's home who were kind enough to let her stay because they wanted her to clean the toilet and do other chores. So that's why she has no where to go now. She was even kicked out of a womens shelter for not following rules, staying up all night, stealing, etc. </p><p></p><p>Why do they think there is a place they can go where there's no rules? Anyway, I wanted to point out that enabling could lead to even a 56 year old man still living with/off his parent. I don't think he spent more than a few weeks gainfully employed in his entire life and he was ok with that since he knew his parents would take care of all his needs despite the horrible way he treated them and made them feel ashamed of him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="troubled, post: 415952"] I evicted my 19 year old daughter in Feb this year. I know the hurt, the disappointment and worry you feel. At this point I don't even know where my difficult child is and it's sometimes just as painful as knowing that she's out there struggling just to survive. Her father is my ex and at age 56 he still depends on his 78 year old mother. That poor woman has had to work hard all her life and still can't retire because if she did, her son and his family would have to do without. It's her choice to support (enable) him still while he claims he can't work because '' He's my son,". He does nothing for her or his wife and won't (not can't) take care of his own kids. He has bipolar disorder and is an alcoholic. That never stopped him from chasing women, spending every cent drinking at bars and hanging around with other criminal types and eventually marrying and having even more kids who he did not support. All this he did but he couldn't stand being told what to do. So his mother will be enabling him until she dies for the sole reason that he is her son. I warned my difficult child that I was not going to be like her Grandma and support her until I am dead because she thinks she can live the good life and do nothing while someone else does all the work and pays all the bills. She won't even clean her own stuff up and she left one person's home who were kind enough to let her stay because they wanted her to clean the toilet and do other chores. So that's why she has no where to go now. She was even kicked out of a womens shelter for not following rules, staying up all night, stealing, etc. Why do they think there is a place they can go where there's no rules? Anyway, I wanted to point out that enabling could lead to even a 56 year old man still living with/off his parent. I don't think he spent more than a few weeks gainfully employed in his entire life and he was ok with that since he knew his parents would take care of all his needs despite the horrible way he treated them and made them feel ashamed of him. [/QUOTE]
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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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