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Parent Emeritus
I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 416941"><p>I re-read your post and wanted to add that I agree with what has been written here by the others. AND good for you for calling the police and having him escorted from your home. That had to be very hard. Do not whip yourself for not "cutting him off" sooner. It is only natural to want to give second chances to your own flesh and blood. It is right to hope for the best. But, like you said, you bent over backwards repeatedly. Now it is clear, that it is appropriate and necessary to set up strict boundaries, which is what you have done. This is a good thing for you and in the end, a good thing for him. in my humble opinion, you should AVOID going to his Facebook page. If it is appropriate, you might tell him that if he wants therapy and/or family therapy and you can afford that, you are open to discussing this. But, say to yourself quietly...you are not open to any of what's been happening. That door is shut. It hurts, most likely because this is not anything what you have hoped for as a parent. It is a loss. You are grieving. It is very painful. But this is your reality and your faced with this pain and these tough decisions. Consider checking out a group called Families Anonymous to see if they meet in your area. Re-discover what you like to do. Get support for yourself. Sending good thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 416941"] I re-read your post and wanted to add that I agree with what has been written here by the others. AND good for you for calling the police and having him escorted from your home. That had to be very hard. Do not whip yourself for not "cutting him off" sooner. It is only natural to want to give second chances to your own flesh and blood. It is right to hope for the best. But, like you said, you bent over backwards repeatedly. Now it is clear, that it is appropriate and necessary to set up strict boundaries, which is what you have done. This is a good thing for you and in the end, a good thing for him. in my humble opinion, you should AVOID going to his Facebook page. If it is appropriate, you might tell him that if he wants therapy and/or family therapy and you can afford that, you are open to discussing this. But, say to yourself quietly...you are not open to any of what's been happening. That door is shut. It hurts, most likely because this is not anything what you have hoped for as a parent. It is a loss. You are grieving. It is very painful. But this is your reality and your faced with this pain and these tough decisions. Consider checking out a group called Families Anonymous to see if they meet in your area. Re-discover what you like to do. Get support for yourself. Sending good thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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I know I've done the right thing but it hurts so much!!
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