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General Parenting
I let him push my buttons, then I paint him in a corner.
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 348788" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Thank you all for the thoughtful responses. </p><p> </p><p>In the end, I went with what the minority suggested and I did apologize and explained my reaction and allowed him to participate in the game. </p><p> </p><p>Like Allan-Matlem said about some kids not having the skills to process the possibility of a consequence and being able to change behavior -- in the heat of the moment, without the support of his medications, that's exactly how he is. </p><p> </p><p>I talked to him extensively about the damage he does when he's like this. That although people can forgive in time, the words and actions are already out and he cannot take them back -- and I cannot simply turn off my emotions just because his medications are finally working and he's able to control himself now. He has reparations to make with easy child and with me, and some physical things to repair as well. That will take time and I believe that will reinforce the lesson better than keeping him home from his team game.</p><p> </p><p>Being a member of this team is so important for his social skills, because this is a kid who would otherwise have no friends at all. He does not get invited to parties (has not since about the 4th grade), he does not get phone calls from kids to socialize outside of school. Ever. </p><p> </p><p>He is still apologizing to me today. Hopefully we've both learned something over this...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 348788, member: 3444"] Thank you all for the thoughtful responses. In the end, I went with what the minority suggested and I did apologize and explained my reaction and allowed him to participate in the game. Like Allan-Matlem said about some kids not having the skills to process the possibility of a consequence and being able to change behavior -- in the heat of the moment, without the support of his medications, that's exactly how he is. I talked to him extensively about the damage he does when he's like this. That although people can forgive in time, the words and actions are already out and he cannot take them back -- and I cannot simply turn off my emotions just because his medications are finally working and he's able to control himself now. He has reparations to make with easy child and with me, and some physical things to repair as well. That will take time and I believe that will reinforce the lesson better than keeping him home from his team game. Being a member of this team is so important for his social skills, because this is a kid who would otherwise have no friends at all. He does not get invited to parties (has not since about the 4th grade), he does not get phone calls from kids to socialize outside of school. Ever. He is still apologizing to me today. Hopefully we've both learned something over this... [/QUOTE]
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I let him push my buttons, then I paint him in a corner.
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