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I love my Life - I am the boyfiend
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<blockquote data-quote="'Chelle" data-source="post: 122490" data-attributes="member: 1161"><p>This is from an outsiders view of my sis moving in with her SO with her daughter, who was 10 at the time I believe. My niece totally resented her SO, resented sharing her mom and did nothing to get along with him. He tried the discipline her approach and it didn't work, made her resent him more. He backed off some after a couple years, and mostly let my sis handle it, but by then my niece's resistance to him was pretty much mortared in stone from her side. She's now 24 and they finally have made peace and get along very well, but it took until she was about 21. She has a child of her own that "Grandpa" loves and babysits almost every Friday afternoon for her.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion is as others have said, let Dara set the rules and do the discipline. You and Dara can discuss what the rules should be together and Dara present them to her with what the consequences should be. Not being disrespectful to you, as someone Dara cares for, should be one of the rules. Then if she's under some punishment for a rule infraction, say grounded from the computer, and you're left alone with her while mom runs to the store, not letting her on the computer is not you disciplining but simply backing Dara up. Do not ever discuss her and anything she's done with Dara in front of her, especially if you're disagreeing in anyway. She'd love to see the conflict, they all do, I think it gives them a feeling of control. As someone else said, try to talk to her about things that interest her, but don't expect much, she is a teenager. At this point, showing that you support Dara is the best you can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="'Chelle, post: 122490, member: 1161"] This is from an outsiders view of my sis moving in with her SO with her daughter, who was 10 at the time I believe. My niece totally resented her SO, resented sharing her mom and did nothing to get along with him. He tried the discipline her approach and it didn't work, made her resent him more. He backed off some after a couple years, and mostly let my sis handle it, but by then my niece's resistance to him was pretty much mortared in stone from her side. She's now 24 and they finally have made peace and get along very well, but it took until she was about 21. She has a child of her own that "Grandpa" loves and babysits almost every Friday afternoon for her. My suggestion is as others have said, let Dara set the rules and do the discipline. You and Dara can discuss what the rules should be together and Dara present them to her with what the consequences should be. Not being disrespectful to you, as someone Dara cares for, should be one of the rules. Then if she's under some punishment for a rule infraction, say grounded from the computer, and you're left alone with her while mom runs to the store, not letting her on the computer is not you disciplining but simply backing Dara up. Do not ever discuss her and anything she's done with Dara in front of her, especially if you're disagreeing in anyway. She'd love to see the conflict, they all do, I think it gives them a feeling of control. As someone else said, try to talk to her about things that interest her, but don't expect much, she is a teenager. At this point, showing that you support Dara is the best you can do. [/QUOTE]
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