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Parent Emeritus
I make myself tired
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 625877" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RE said it all.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever joined a twelve step group or gone to NAMI to get in touch with other parents who have walked your path and managed to survive?</p><p></p><p>At some point in time we have two choices:</p><p>1/We can live poorly based on how our children are doing</p><p>2/ We can learn to detach and love them without becoming overly engaged in their lives and go on to live great lives ourselves. We can only control ourselves, not them. You can not control either of your sons or your grandson. If you like, you can try for custody of Grandson. Otherwise you will have no control over the care he gets or does not get.</p><p></p><p>It is very liberating to realize we have no control. It actually lets us breathe. </p><p></p><p>When was the last time you did something just for you? Do you see your friends? Do you have hobbies? Can you try to go back to doing the things you enjoyed before you even had kids? You may have given birth to your kids, but you are separate from them and do not have to suffer because of their choices. You are a loving person who did your best and now this is a new phase of your life...and hopefully the BEST phase. But it takes help getting there. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 625877, member: 1550"] RE said it all. Have you ever joined a twelve step group or gone to NAMI to get in touch with other parents who have walked your path and managed to survive? At some point in time we have two choices: 1/We can live poorly based on how our children are doing 2/ We can learn to detach and love them without becoming overly engaged in their lives and go on to live great lives ourselves. We can only control ourselves, not them. You can not control either of your sons or your grandson. If you like, you can try for custody of Grandson. Otherwise you will have no control over the care he gets or does not get. It is very liberating to realize we have no control. It actually lets us breathe. When was the last time you did something just for you? Do you see your friends? Do you have hobbies? Can you try to go back to doing the things you enjoyed before you even had kids? You may have given birth to your kids, but you are separate from them and do not have to suffer because of their choices. You are a loving person who did your best and now this is a new phase of your life...and hopefully the BEST phase. But it takes help getting there. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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