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I messed up, fiance moved out and now I don't know what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 499880" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi and welcome. It sounds like a really tough day. I don't know that I can make any suggestions/judgements about your situation with-o sounding very unsupportive.</p><p></p><p>I don't mean to be. I truly am asking because I don't understand the situation. First of all, did you understand before you got the ferret that your fiance whom you are financially dependent on is allergic to animals? Is this something you have discussed? It sounds, to me, like the ferret was a rather spontaneous decision, one not thought out or discussed with him. Why did you feel that getting an animal was a good thing at this time? </p><p></p><p>From what you have said, your fiance has a severe allergy to animals which has already caused life threatening problems in the past and you knew of this. So you got an anmal that would live in your home to make your daughter happy but you didn't speak to him about it? I am confused. Do you care about him? Is there a reason your daughter had to have this animal to treat an problem or as a therapy animal to help wtih a disability or was it just to have a pet?</p><p></p><p>As I said, I TRULY do not want to sound unsupportive. I have severe health problems and it limits my life greatly. My husband is amazing about it and we are a team. I can rely on him to NOT bring something home that would make me very ill or threaten my life. Are you aware that once you have had a very serious allergic reaction to something then future reactions will be MUCH more severe, not less severe? Can you put yourself in his shoes? How would you feel if the taste or touch of peanuts in ANY form caused you to have a reaction so strong you ended up in the hospital? How would you feel if your fiance brought home peanut butter and foods with peanuts in them and left peanut butter smeared all over the counters and furniture? Sadly many people react to more than just one animal with fur, and after reacting to one they react much much stronger to others.</p><p></p><p>How did you intend to pay for food and vet bills for the ferret if you can't support yourself and yoru child? Can you go to the Dept of Human Services and apply for help as you don't have any income? Maybe they could help?</p><p></p><p>What is the horrible stuff your daughter has been through? Was your fiance awful to her? Is her father abusive? Does she have a disability or disorder of some kind? Most of us have kids with behavioral or developmental or health problems, so we may be more help with that than your other situation. Does your daughter have any diagnosis? Problems in school? </p><p></p><p>Again, I don't mean to be nosy, insensitive or to ask rude questions. I just don't understand and cannot offer meaningful help if I don't have a grasp of the problem. Why was it so important to get a ferret? How would that help your daughter, esp if it meant she had to live with her father which seems to be a bad thing from what you have said. Does her father abuse her? Is it dangerous for her to live iwth him if you cannot support her? What is the custody arrangement?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 499880, member: 1233"] Hi and welcome. It sounds like a really tough day. I don't know that I can make any suggestions/judgements about your situation with-o sounding very unsupportive. I don't mean to be. I truly am asking because I don't understand the situation. First of all, did you understand before you got the ferret that your fiance whom you are financially dependent on is allergic to animals? Is this something you have discussed? It sounds, to me, like the ferret was a rather spontaneous decision, one not thought out or discussed with him. Why did you feel that getting an animal was a good thing at this time? From what you have said, your fiance has a severe allergy to animals which has already caused life threatening problems in the past and you knew of this. So you got an anmal that would live in your home to make your daughter happy but you didn't speak to him about it? I am confused. Do you care about him? Is there a reason your daughter had to have this animal to treat an problem or as a therapy animal to help wtih a disability or was it just to have a pet? As I said, I TRULY do not want to sound unsupportive. I have severe health problems and it limits my life greatly. My husband is amazing about it and we are a team. I can rely on him to NOT bring something home that would make me very ill or threaten my life. Are you aware that once you have had a very serious allergic reaction to something then future reactions will be MUCH more severe, not less severe? Can you put yourself in his shoes? How would you feel if the taste or touch of peanuts in ANY form caused you to have a reaction so strong you ended up in the hospital? How would you feel if your fiance brought home peanut butter and foods with peanuts in them and left peanut butter smeared all over the counters and furniture? Sadly many people react to more than just one animal with fur, and after reacting to one they react much much stronger to others. How did you intend to pay for food and vet bills for the ferret if you can't support yourself and yoru child? Can you go to the Dept of Human Services and apply for help as you don't have any income? Maybe they could help? What is the horrible stuff your daughter has been through? Was your fiance awful to her? Is her father abusive? Does she have a disability or disorder of some kind? Most of us have kids with behavioral or developmental or health problems, so we may be more help with that than your other situation. Does your daughter have any diagnosis? Problems in school? Again, I don't mean to be nosy, insensitive or to ask rude questions. I just don't understand and cannot offer meaningful help if I don't have a grasp of the problem. Why was it so important to get a ferret? How would that help your daughter, esp if it meant she had to live with her father which seems to be a bad thing from what you have said. Does her father abuse her? Is it dangerous for her to live iwth him if you cannot support her? What is the custody arrangement? [/QUOTE]
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I messed up, fiance moved out and now I don't know what to do
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