So October is coming and difficult child is still really excited about bartending school. I was thinking about how I was putting her up in a hotel for that week and thought for just a little more, I could pay her rent somewhere for a month. husband and I are doing better than ever financially and we can afford it. I have been checking out rooms for rent. There are so many people looking for room mates.... So, she calls me yesterday morning to check in and let me know she is alive and well. I tell her my great idea. I ask her if she knew anyone that was looking for a room mate and she said, yes, she knew someone that was looking to rent a place with someone. So, I tell her if she can find a room mate and keep her portion of the rent under a certain amount, I would pay her rent through the end of October. I told her by then I fully expect her to be working somewhere and she will be responsible for her rent after that. And the moment it came out of my mouth I wanted to kick myself in the head. What was I thinking???? I know I am not doing this for her. I know I am doing it for me. I can't stand the thought of her being homeless during the holidays or winter again. I would feel better picking her up and dropping her off at a place she actually lived. Ugh. One step forward, two steps back. She tells me she has been "scrapping" for money. I told her please do not tell me that you are stealing metal from people's homes and she swears to me that she is only picking up scrap from Craigslist. Of course, I don't believe that for a minute. I look at her phone records and she has been up for days only sleeping the day before yesterday. Nothing is changing. Why am I trying to force change?? Why am I trying to fix her still?? I want to slap myself. There wasn't even a thank you. She developed an entitlement attitude instead asking how much I would be willing to pay. WHY did I do that???? And her new PO called me. Yeah. He told me straight out that all he was pretty much going to do is call me monthly. I told him no way. I have 31 more days of being involved and then I am out. She will officially be 18 and I will no longer deal with her probation. She has never, ever been affected one iota over her probation. I have been the one inconvenienced. She thinks it is all a joke and it IS. I have begged and pleaded for help and have received nothing. He even told me they would have to petition the judge to keep her case once she turns 18 and he laughed about that. So, really, why do they even bother?? It has been almost two years and they have gotten nowhere with her. What in the world do they think will happen if the judge lets them keep the case? Dumb. So, there is my update. I had a weak moment....and regret it.