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I miss my old life
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 680454" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>No, no funds. No adoption would ever happen. I want my daughter to raise her son, although she's quite happy to have us do as much as we do. She does work two jobs and because there are no other babysitters, we're it. AT $20 hour for any type of child care, none of us can afford it. And the behaviors are too severe to be welcomed at any after school daycare/YMCA type program. We pay for most of the clothes (for both of the children), haircuts, swim lessons, doctor co-pays (their father carries the insurance, thankfully, but never seems to actually take them to the doctor), and any extras (and there seem to always be a lot of those). And I help pay rent so my daughter has a place to live. She picks up the kids after work at our house (at around 7 pm) and they stay with her during the week. We drop the little girl off at her fathers house on Fridays and pick her up on Monday after school, but the father refuses to take the grandson until he's "safe" for his three step kids and toddler that he had with his new wife. So we do most of the true parenting like homework (oh lord don't even get me started on trying to get that boy to do anything homework-related), meals, laundry. And even though my daughter works two jobs, she doesn't qualify for state assistance. The bar is set very high for that and she can't qualify. If she could get more custody for the kids and he wouldn't be paying for their healthcare, she could get more help. But after three court rulings, each one granting her a little more custody, it isn't at the level where she would qualify, so we pick up the slack. I'm trying to imagine my parents giving me the kind of help during my child-rearing years and it's inconceivable (I was a foster kid, anyway). On the one hand, I'm so grateful that I have the resources, education, and patience to be able to help, on the other hand, I don't see why I should have to do quite so much. I'm probably enabling some as well, and I'm always looking for ways to pull back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 680454, member: 13260"] No, no funds. No adoption would ever happen. I want my daughter to raise her son, although she's quite happy to have us do as much as we do. She does work two jobs and because there are no other babysitters, we're it. AT $20 hour for any type of child care, none of us can afford it. And the behaviors are too severe to be welcomed at any after school daycare/YMCA type program. We pay for most of the clothes (for both of the children), haircuts, swim lessons, doctor co-pays (their father carries the insurance, thankfully, but never seems to actually take them to the doctor), and any extras (and there seem to always be a lot of those). And I help pay rent so my daughter has a place to live. She picks up the kids after work at our house (at around 7 pm) and they stay with her during the week. We drop the little girl off at her fathers house on Fridays and pick her up on Monday after school, but the father refuses to take the grandson until he's "safe" for his three step kids and toddler that he had with his new wife. So we do most of the true parenting like homework (oh lord don't even get me started on trying to get that boy to do anything homework-related), meals, laundry. And even though my daughter works two jobs, she doesn't qualify for state assistance. The bar is set very high for that and she can't qualify. If she could get more custody for the kids and he wouldn't be paying for their healthcare, she could get more help. But after three court rulings, each one granting her a little more custody, it isn't at the level where she would qualify, so we pick up the slack. I'm trying to imagine my parents giving me the kind of help during my child-rearing years and it's inconceivable (I was a foster kid, anyway). On the one hand, I'm so grateful that I have the resources, education, and patience to be able to help, on the other hand, I don't see why I should have to do quite so much. I'm probably enabling some as well, and I'm always looking for ways to pull back. [/QUOTE]
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