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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 128801" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Sharon - for us, it wasn't the frequency of violence that pushed us into accepting the recommendation for Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it was the severity. Like someone pointed out above, we/I fell into the trap of thinking it was a pretty doggone good day if I only was called a (insert fave word of the day). Thinking on it, it wasn't even just the severity of the violence, it was how it was starting to severely affect the sibs. </p><p> </p><p>Even now, with placement in limbo, any serious thought of bringing him home is pretty promptly squashed by the fact that the other kids deserve to feel safe in their own home. That will not happen with thank you here. Even if he's not actually violent, he can be a very intimidating and verbally abusive kid. Kind of sick in a way - if it were just husband and me (and possibly Boo), I'd bring him home in a heartbeat, but with the other 2 kiddos, absolutely not.</p><p> </p><p>On the many *many* days when I feel guilty about having thank you out of the home for so doggone long, I remind myself that if husband ever talked or acted towards me the way thank you does, husband would be living the single life so fast he wouldn't know what hit him and I would've moved and left no forwarding address. We take an inordinate amout of real abuse from our children, far more than we would from anyone else. I don't think it's possible to really understand how damaging it is to you when you're smack in the middle of it. </p><p> </p><p>Snippet of life with thank you - he had a girlfriend for a brief period of time. Apparently, he treated her the way he's always treated me. He was stunned when she told him to hit the road in no uncertain terms. I just smiled and said "yep". Been telling him for years that there is no one else in the *world* who will keep coming back for more of his junk. I think he might believe me now. It's a lesson our abusive kids have got to learn and it's not one they can learn in our homes, in my humble opinion - the consequences we can impose are pretty limited and are not really the natural consequence of treating people like punching bags (or worse). </p><p> </p><p>It's difficult, Sharon.... the whole thing just forcefully inhales. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 128801, member: 8"] Sharon - for us, it wasn't the frequency of violence that pushed us into accepting the recommendation for Residential Treatment Center (RTC), it was the severity. Like someone pointed out above, we/I fell into the trap of thinking it was a pretty doggone good day if I only was called a (insert fave word of the day). Thinking on it, it wasn't even just the severity of the violence, it was how it was starting to severely affect the sibs. Even now, with placement in limbo, any serious thought of bringing him home is pretty promptly squashed by the fact that the other kids deserve to feel safe in their own home. That will not happen with thank you here. Even if he's not actually violent, he can be a very intimidating and verbally abusive kid. Kind of sick in a way - if it were just husband and me (and possibly Boo), I'd bring him home in a heartbeat, but with the other 2 kiddos, absolutely not. On the many *many* days when I feel guilty about having thank you out of the home for so doggone long, I remind myself that if husband ever talked or acted towards me the way thank you does, husband would be living the single life so fast he wouldn't know what hit him and I would've moved and left no forwarding address. We take an inordinate amout of real abuse from our children, far more than we would from anyone else. I don't think it's possible to really understand how damaging it is to you when you're smack in the middle of it. Snippet of life with thank you - he had a girlfriend for a brief period of time. Apparently, he treated her the way he's always treated me. He was stunned when she told him to hit the road in no uncertain terms. I just smiled and said "yep". Been telling him for years that there is no one else in the *world* who will keep coming back for more of his junk. I think he might believe me now. It's a lesson our abusive kids have got to learn and it's not one they can learn in our homes, in my humble opinion - the consequences we can impose are pretty limited and are not really the natural consequence of treating people like punching bags (or worse). It's difficult, Sharon.... the whole thing just forcefully inhales. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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