I'm uncomfortable posting this, but I need advice. I really am at a loss with this one. My daughter is 13 and she will not talk about her body at all or body functions or anything even remotely pertaining to it. She shuts down, becomes very uncomfortable, embarrassed maybe, but more like ashamed. When she was 4, she started with she hates herself and that she's ugly. My daughter was the beautiful child that people stopped and stared at. Not that that matters, but she was in no way ugly. At that age, she also started with me being the only one allowed to be in the room when she got dressed. Not even my mom was allowed. And she would close and lock the door while getting dressed. That just seems uncommon at that age. And while my daughter was born anxious and challenging, it was at that age that the hellacious meltdowns began. It's the age she was when she first started to see a therapist. She did very well with that therapist and after 4 months we were done with therapy. I could leave the room without her falling apart. She was out of my bed. All that stuff. Then about 3 years later, easy child was diagnosis'd with severe depression and difficult child regressed back into super high anxiety. And we've been dealing with it ever since. I got her the American Girl Body Book for Girls when she was around 9 or 10. Told her to come to me with any questions. She took it and I never saw it again - but I do know she read it, it's definitely been looked through repeatedly. When she was 11 and started her period, she wouldn't tell me. She came to me and said she had something to tell me, but was too embarrassed. I had to delicately guess what it was. I figured it was her period, but if it wasn't it and I guessed it she would have been mortified. So, it had to be handled delicately. If I even ask her now anything about her period, she yells at me. A friend of hers, M, that is just a few months younger, started her period at the same age. (This was 2 years ago.) M's mom called everyone in the family, plus friends to tell them and took M out to dinner to celebrate her becoming a woman. I thought it was bizarre, but whatever. M spent that weekend with us. On Monday, difficult child calls me at work, highly upset. Tells me she did something bad and that she's grounded herself. I asked her what she did and she said she looked at stuff online that she shouldn't have. That M was talking to her about it over the weekend and she was curious and looked and it was bad. So, I called M's mom to find out what she was letting M look at. M's mom told me she showed her educational sites and that's it. Of course, I find out later from a mutual friend that M's mom was showing M porn. M's mom is a whole 'nother story. difficult child was so upset that I left work and came home to find her in the fetal position on the couch. She felt sick, she was crying, she was shaking and she wouldn't speak. I looked through the history to see what she looked at and none of the sites were that bad, but a pop up came up that was very graphic. Now when difficult child's anxiety is getting high, she looks at these things. She always confesses a few days later - and after a few days of feeling sick and beating herself up. (I'm talking about twice a year - not an everyday thing.) I'm not angry with her and I'm not going to punish her because she is punishing herself enough. She says she doesn't know why she does it, that she doesn't like it, that it bothers her, that she thinks she's a bad person, and that there is a little voice in the back of her head telling her to stop but she can't. She can't even say the words out loud - like sex, or breasts, or anything like that. She's so miserable when she tells me and she starts to crawl inside herself. And I don't know how to handle it. I asked her if she wanted me to put blocks on her internet and she doesn't. And I'm not inclined to without her asking me, too, because like I said I don't want to punish her. What I'm more worried about is her perception of her body and of sex. I don't want her to have such negative feelings about her body. I really don't know where it came from and it's been there since the age of 4. I mean, she won't even allow me to help her adjust her bra strap through her shirt. I've talked to her about sex between two people that care about each other being a nice, natural thing. She seems to have the impression that it's bad and ugly and shameful. I just have to word things so carefully because she becomes so mortified. Help!