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I need help - cannot live the abuse from my 18 yr old daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 641603" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>If there is a choice to be made between her or you, because she is abusive - you owe it to yourself to remove yourself from this abusive relationship. Please consider joining a domestic violence support group. You are every much the victim of DV as someone involved in partner violence and need the same support if not more (because it is coming from you adult child). Shame of being the parent prevents most victims for this kind of family violence from getting help. It is about time that those of us who suffer this type of abuse (from our adult children) stand up and be counted as the victims we are, which we can only do if we avail ourselves of the services offered by the domestic violence community. I do understand the hurt and confusion we place on ourselves by trying to convince ourselves that somehow we are to blame for the violence because we raised the child. However, when we dance that dance, we forget to take into account that DNA also plays a role, as does the society the child was raised in and those they choose to hang out with. So in the dance of blame we have to cut ourselves some slack - and come to the understanding that while we "might" be to blame in part, there are "other" factors at play here as well. By the time this "child" is an adult, there is nothing we can do to prevent them from acting out violently towards us. This is why I say you are within your rights to say no to her abusive ways by getting help for yourself. People in the domestic violence support group probably can help find a way a way to both get her some help (somewhere else to go) and remove yourself from this violent situation. You are fighting an ADULT with a mental illness. Do not punish yourself by not seeking the help you deserve as a human being. (the right to be safe from ALL types of abuse) as a person. Abuse includes but is not limited to: Verbal, mental, emotional, physical and financial.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 641603, member: 18366"] If there is a choice to be made between her or you, because she is abusive - you owe it to yourself to remove yourself from this abusive relationship. Please consider joining a domestic violence support group. You are every much the victim of DV as someone involved in partner violence and need the same support if not more (because it is coming from you adult child). Shame of being the parent prevents most victims for this kind of family violence from getting help. It is about time that those of us who suffer this type of abuse (from our adult children) stand up and be counted as the victims we are, which we can only do if we avail ourselves of the services offered by the domestic violence community. I do understand the hurt and confusion we place on ourselves by trying to convince ourselves that somehow we are to blame for the violence because we raised the child. However, when we dance that dance, we forget to take into account that DNA also plays a role, as does the society the child was raised in and those they choose to hang out with. So in the dance of blame we have to cut ourselves some slack - and come to the understanding that while we "might" be to blame in part, there are "other" factors at play here as well. By the time this "child" is an adult, there is nothing we can do to prevent them from acting out violently towards us. This is why I say you are within your rights to say no to her abusive ways by getting help for yourself. People in the domestic violence support group probably can help find a way a way to both get her some help (somewhere else to go) and remove yourself from this violent situation. You are fighting an ADULT with a mental illness. Do not punish yourself by not seeking the help you deserve as a human being. (the right to be safe from ALL types of abuse) as a person. Abuse includes but is not limited to: Verbal, mental, emotional, physical and financial. [/QUOTE]
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I need help - cannot live the abuse from my 18 yr old daughter
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