Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I need help on etiquette
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 397978" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Hi Janet,</p><p></p><p>if you are listed as a beneficiary in the will in addition to a cd, they will contact you. The bank has a legal responsibility to get you the funds, and they will usually send a letter first advising you that you are the beneficiary of a cd. His lawyer or the court will notify you if you were named in the will. </p><p></p><p>Ok, but here's the catch. If he named Pat the executor, it becomes her responsibility to make sure that all bequeaths are followed up on. You will have to trust her or talk to her - either/or.</p><p></p><p>If you feel there are some sentimental things that are not individual bequeaths in the will that you would like to have, I say you need to make the phone call, Now.</p><p></p><p>Folks change. Folks become vultures. I've seen it too many times.</p><p></p><p>Before her children come in and get the truck and tools - and they very well may ask and Pat may not even know that dad promised them to Tony - you need to call her Janet.</p><p></p><p>You can definitely make the call appropriate. First ask after her, "How are you getting along Pat? I know this is a difficult time for you." Personally I would begin with the little things, "Pat, there are some childhood memories, 8mm film that dad and my mom had and some pics and things that dad have of my boys that I would really like to have. I would like to come up in the next week or so to go through some of those things, would this be good for you?</p><p></p><p>At this point you would have two choices. You can start in on the bequeaths then or you could wait until you are with her and personally handle it. When you are face to face with her, you can casually say, "Pat, you mentioned that dad made me the beneficiary of a cd, I was touched and surprised." Who is the executor of the estate and who do I make sure has my contact info - I know they will need my address, ss# and such" That will kinda get the ball rolling. </p><p></p><p>Or, if you prefer to just handle it head-on, when you call about coming up you can just ask point blank "Pat, has a reading of the will been scheduled? Dad had mentioned several times about some things he was leaving to me and Tony and I wondered when that was going to be." </p><p></p><p>I know that when my father passed, there was no formal reading because my mother was the beneficiary of everything but one of his life insurance policies that dad took out in the 70's when he and my mother were traveling a lot that he left to the four of us (and his reasoning at the time was that if something happened to the both of them, we would not have to wait for the estate to go through probate to have some money for school and living expenses in the meantime). If you or Tony or the boys are not formally listed in the will, you would not have been asked to be present at the reading.</p><p></p><p>There are a lot of "ifs" here Janet. Don't be "wishy-washy" about this. If there are things you want, things you also know your dad wanted you to have, you need to handle it now before Pat might be taken advantage of in her sadness by anyone who turned into a vulture. Sometime, in grief, it's easier to say, "whatever" than to deal.......</p><p></p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 397978, member: 805"] Hi Janet, if you are listed as a beneficiary in the will in addition to a cd, they will contact you. The bank has a legal responsibility to get you the funds, and they will usually send a letter first advising you that you are the beneficiary of a cd. His lawyer or the court will notify you if you were named in the will. Ok, but here's the catch. If he named Pat the executor, it becomes her responsibility to make sure that all bequeaths are followed up on. You will have to trust her or talk to her - either/or. If you feel there are some sentimental things that are not individual bequeaths in the will that you would like to have, I say you need to make the phone call, Now. Folks change. Folks become vultures. I've seen it too many times. Before her children come in and get the truck and tools - and they very well may ask and Pat may not even know that dad promised them to Tony - you need to call her Janet. You can definitely make the call appropriate. First ask after her, "How are you getting along Pat? I know this is a difficult time for you." Personally I would begin with the little things, "Pat, there are some childhood memories, 8mm film that dad and my mom had and some pics and things that dad have of my boys that I would really like to have. I would like to come up in the next week or so to go through some of those things, would this be good for you? At this point you would have two choices. You can start in on the bequeaths then or you could wait until you are with her and personally handle it. When you are face to face with her, you can casually say, "Pat, you mentioned that dad made me the beneficiary of a cd, I was touched and surprised." Who is the executor of the estate and who do I make sure has my contact info - I know they will need my address, ss# and such" That will kinda get the ball rolling. Or, if you prefer to just handle it head-on, when you call about coming up you can just ask point blank "Pat, has a reading of the will been scheduled? Dad had mentioned several times about some things he was leaving to me and Tony and I wondered when that was going to be." I know that when my father passed, there was no formal reading because my mother was the beneficiary of everything but one of his life insurance policies that dad took out in the 70's when he and my mother were traveling a lot that he left to the four of us (and his reasoning at the time was that if something happened to the both of them, we would not have to wait for the estate to go through probate to have some money for school and living expenses in the meantime). If you or Tony or the boys are not formally listed in the will, you would not have been asked to be present at the reading. There are a lot of "ifs" here Janet. Don't be "wishy-washy" about this. If there are things you want, things you also know your dad wanted you to have, you need to handle it now before Pat might be taken advantage of in her sadness by anyone who turned into a vulture. Sometime, in grief, it's easier to say, "whatever" than to deal....... Sharon [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I need help on etiquette
Top