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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 397997" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Having been the Executor of both parents wills I can affirm that strange things happen in families following the death of a loved one...often from those who were the least "loved". Chances are probate will be involved if he had assets and chances are she is either now the owner of most, if not all, of his assets. </p><p> </p><p>That said I see one of two options. Either you call her directly or you contact the funeral home and ask which attorneys are involved in the estate. (If it is a small community the funeral director will probably then inform Pat that you called.) Chances are they know. on the other hand, they will only know what is in writing.</p><p> </p><p>If you opt to call I would suggest being truthful. After appropriate greeting I would say "Pat, I feel uncomfortable or funny</p><p>about contacting you about some sentimental possessions. I hope you are not offended but there are a few things that Dad told us he would like us to have...and I don't know if he wrote them down or shared his thoughts on those items.</p><p>Would you be OK with me asking you about those things? As meticulous as he was he may not have noted items without monetary value. "</p><p> </p><p>Chances are she will say "sure". If she says "I'm not up to that now" then ask her if she would be more comfortable if you</p><p>sent her a note of inquiry. She has lost her husband of many years and she probably is feeling vulnerable and confused herself. She may want to hold onto everything that is not in writing. She may have her children taking things that you were promised. There's no way to know without calling.</p><p> </p><p>Be prepared. Very <strong>weird </strong>things happen following a death. If no personal items are available to you then remember those</p><p>items fondly and accept you can't do anything about them. Anything that is in your name or listed in the will has to come to</p><p>you legally. The attorney is required to make sure of that. Very often the things of emotional value go by the wayside. It</p><p>will be a hard pill to swallow but remember the Serenity Prayer.</p><p> </p><p>I'm hoping all goes well. Either way...you loved your Dad and your Dad loved you. That's more than many people have to hold on to. Good luck DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 397997, member: 35"] Having been the Executor of both parents wills I can affirm that strange things happen in families following the death of a loved one...often from those who were the least "loved". Chances are probate will be involved if he had assets and chances are she is either now the owner of most, if not all, of his assets. That said I see one of two options. Either you call her directly or you contact the funeral home and ask which attorneys are involved in the estate. (If it is a small community the funeral director will probably then inform Pat that you called.) Chances are they know. on the other hand, they will only know what is in writing. If you opt to call I would suggest being truthful. After appropriate greeting I would say "Pat, I feel uncomfortable or funny about contacting you about some sentimental possessions. I hope you are not offended but there are a few things that Dad told us he would like us to have...and I don't know if he wrote them down or shared his thoughts on those items. Would you be OK with me asking you about those things? As meticulous as he was he may not have noted items without monetary value. " Chances are she will say "sure". If she says "I'm not up to that now" then ask her if she would be more comfortable if you sent her a note of inquiry. She has lost her husband of many years and she probably is feeling vulnerable and confused herself. She may want to hold onto everything that is not in writing. She may have her children taking things that you were promised. There's no way to know without calling. Be prepared. Very [B]weird [/B]things happen following a death. If no personal items are available to you then remember those items fondly and accept you can't do anything about them. Anything that is in your name or listed in the will has to come to you legally. The attorney is required to make sure of that. Very often the things of emotional value go by the wayside. It will be a hard pill to swallow but remember the Serenity Prayer. I'm hoping all goes well. Either way...you loved your Dad and your Dad loved you. That's more than many people have to hold on to. Good luck DDD [/QUOTE]
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