Boy does this sound familiar. Anytime I would try and direct or suggest to my son how he could better manage his money to make it last it was always met with excuses why he couldn't do it.
I too was told how I didn't love him. "If you loved me you would help me" if I tried to bring up all the times I had helped he would say things like "why do you have to throw the past in my face"
There is no winning with them.
I finally learned that saying less was more. I absolutely will not offer any advice to my son about anything.
I also learned to not offer any reason as to why I couldn't help him. A simple "I'm unable to do that for you" is enough.
Copa, it just takes time. You are not being difficult.
Something to keep in mind, every time you "help" him, you're helping him take two steps back not forward. When we swoop in to rescue mode it's more for us than it is them. We love them and don't want to see them suffer so we "help" them but by doing this we are taking away their chance to figure it out for themselves.
For me, sticking to giving simple responses and not engaging into those chaotic conversations saved my sanity. My son also started getting the message that I could not be guilted into doing things for him and his manipulative ways were no longer working on me, he stopped asking for handouts.
That's not to say that occasionally he won't make some kind of request but it's not the constant begging that it once was.
Hang in there Copa!!
We are circling around you, feel out strength. You can do this, you will get through this.
