My son just called. We have been working on his re-connecting with his Hepatologist and resuming treatment. He just called and is frustrated and bummed that the doctor's office is closed for lunch time and could not get an immediate result, and would have to wait until 1:30 until somebody can help him. It felt to him he was taking it out on me. SON: Will you drive me to the laboratory, because it is hot out? ME: (I am thinking to myself, why is it my responsibility?) Let us talk later when there is a tangible result of phoning the doctor. Like they have faxed or called in the order to the lab. SON: (First, there is a one minute delay and he says nothing. Then, apparently irritated by my completely inadequate response, he responds.) You mean to say, you cannot anticipate that there will be an order? I am asking you if when there is an order you will if you will take me to the laboratory? ME: It feels to me that you call me with the express intention of disrespecting or insulting me. I do not appreciate it. Nor will I participate. We need to hang up now. My son is using me as his whipping boy. Every contact with him I feel degraded. I do not want to cease contact with him. But at the same time, I will not tolerate his ill-treatment. I need strategies and boundaries to detach from the consequences of how he treats me, while staying in the game. Any ideas? Please let me know if and how I may have mishandled this last phone exchange. Is my son correct? Should I have said yes, before there was a tangible need to go to the lab? Should I be taking him to the lab? Why? Why not? Believe me, my son walks an hour and a half across town in the heat, without skipping a beat. Why is he involving me? I am suspicious.