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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 414037" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>Oh Kristen, I sooooo feel for you. And to have so many young ones all at once - major hugs. My difficult child 2 has a twin sister. If you haven't had twins it's hard to appreciate the level of work and the challenges that come with twins even when they're "easy" babies. Both my twins were difficult babies - in different ways. Every effort we made to get them on a schedule (any schedule, singly or together) failed miserably until they were around 3 and even then my son would go to sleep at midnight and wake up at 5 am to go bang on the pots in the kitchen. I hardly remember most of the first 2 years of their lives because I was so sleep deprived. It wasn't unusual for me to sleep no more than 2 or 3 hours at one time with maybe 1 short nap during the day.</p><p></p><p>And I totally get that the physical health issues were first to get addressed. I sometimes feel I will go crazy trying to figure out when to call the doctor (and which doctor to call) when he's sick or some new thing comes up. AT this point it's crazy-making for both of us because my son is 15. When something new comes up the first question we ask? Is there a physical illness/problem that explains the signs and symptoms. So my son is walking around trying to cope with symptoms while thinking maybe he is sick or has developed a new disease/problem. Then, if we go through a bunch of medical testing/assessment and they can't find anything wrong (our current situation re: fatigue and disordered sleeping), he is told "you're not sick" and is supposed to instantly switch his thinking around and lose any anxiety he may have had when he thought he was sick and "stop" the problem behaviors that have now been persisting for weeks or months.</p><p></p><p>I hope your PCP is receptive and supportive. Do not blame yourself for anything. You have huge challenges and are doing great. You have not abandoned him and you are seeking help now that you have the breathing space to recognize the size and nature of the problems.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have had time to read Explosive Child - at least to skim it for the ideas of baskets and safety.</p><p></p><p>I encourage you to ask your husband to take time off to give you some respite or to ask a friend or extended family to help you right now while all the kids are home. Can you send him to his grandparents for a week?</p><p></p><p>If the behaviors you are describing truly wax and wane, then I think it is really important for you to keep some kind of diary or chart of behaviors. If there's a change like school is out, note that in your diary. If you can keep that for at least a month it will be *very* helpful to you and to his doctors.</p><p></p><p>Patricia</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 414037, member: 7948"] Oh Kristen, I sooooo feel for you. And to have so many young ones all at once - major hugs. My difficult child 2 has a twin sister. If you haven't had twins it's hard to appreciate the level of work and the challenges that come with twins even when they're "easy" babies. Both my twins were difficult babies - in different ways. Every effort we made to get them on a schedule (any schedule, singly or together) failed miserably until they were around 3 and even then my son would go to sleep at midnight and wake up at 5 am to go bang on the pots in the kitchen. I hardly remember most of the first 2 years of their lives because I was so sleep deprived. It wasn't unusual for me to sleep no more than 2 or 3 hours at one time with maybe 1 short nap during the day. And I totally get that the physical health issues were first to get addressed. I sometimes feel I will go crazy trying to figure out when to call the doctor (and which doctor to call) when he's sick or some new thing comes up. AT this point it's crazy-making for both of us because my son is 15. When something new comes up the first question we ask? Is there a physical illness/problem that explains the signs and symptoms. So my son is walking around trying to cope with symptoms while thinking maybe he is sick or has developed a new disease/problem. Then, if we go through a bunch of medical testing/assessment and they can't find anything wrong (our current situation re: fatigue and disordered sleeping), he is told "you're not sick" and is supposed to instantly switch his thinking around and lose any anxiety he may have had when he thought he was sick and "stop" the problem behaviors that have now been persisting for weeks or months. I hope your PCP is receptive and supportive. Do not blame yourself for anything. You have huge challenges and are doing great. You have not abandoned him and you are seeking help now that you have the breathing space to recognize the size and nature of the problems. I hope you have had time to read Explosive Child - at least to skim it for the ideas of baskets and safety. I encourage you to ask your husband to take time off to give you some respite or to ask a friend or extended family to help you right now while all the kids are home. Can you send him to his grandparents for a week? If the behaviors you are describing truly wax and wane, then I think it is really important for you to keep some kind of diary or chart of behaviors. If there's a change like school is out, note that in your diary. If you can keep that for at least a month it will be *very* helpful to you and to his doctors. Patricia [/QUOTE]
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