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Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 764269" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>These are good things! This is why you're doing this!</p><p></p><p>Can you own your choice? What I am saying is that it seems you have decided or chosen to support your son. Even though it's difficult to tolerate him and he is doing things that bother you, completing his peace bond so he won't have a criminal record is a powerful reason. I understand you would wish to detach from him, and maybe you should, but these are the reasons you have not. It's unfair to beat yourself up.</p><p></p><p>Can you think about what's next? How long you will go along with this arrangement, and what behaviors or conditions would cause you to stop or to detach? That way you may not feel weak or like a doormat.</p><p></p><p>I would also suggest that you speak to him directly about his drinking. Tell him how his drinking affects you, and that tolerating living with somebody drinking to excess is not something you want. I would also lay out clearly to him, what your bottom lines are. Phrase all of this in terms of what you need in order to live comfortably. He has the absolute right to live as he chooses, as long as he supports himself and does not hurt anybody else. Nobody could or should deal in their own home, with somebody who is imposing onto them bad behavior.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 764269, member: 18958"] These are good things! This is why you're doing this! Can you own your choice? What I am saying is that it seems you have decided or chosen to support your son. Even though it's difficult to tolerate him and he is doing things that bother you, completing his peace bond so he won't have a criminal record is a powerful reason. I understand you would wish to detach from him, and maybe you should, but these are the reasons you have not. It's unfair to beat yourself up. Can you think about what's next? How long you will go along with this arrangement, and what behaviors or conditions would cause you to stop or to detach? That way you may not feel weak or like a doormat. I would also suggest that you speak to him directly about his drinking. Tell him how his drinking affects you, and that tolerating living with somebody drinking to excess is not something you want. I would also lay out clearly to him, what your bottom lines are. Phrase all of this in terms of what you need in order to live comfortably. He has the absolute right to live as he chooses, as long as he supports himself and does not hurt anybody else. Nobody could or should deal in their own home, with somebody who is imposing onto them bad behavior. [/QUOTE]
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Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
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