Hello -
This is my first post here. I am overwhelmed and don't know what to do or think, so all advice is appreciated.
My son is 22 yrs old. His last full year of education was grade 7, although he went in and out of schooling for a few years after. He is bright, not just a Mom's opinion but from several teachers over the years. I believe he has ADD, Avoidance Personality Disorder, maybe some sociopathic traits, and is an alcoholic. He also smokes weed, but has so far not done anything harder than that.
He has anger issues. He has damaged so many electronic devices (phones, TVs, gaming consoles, etc), and has smashed many walls and ruined furniture in our house. This has been happening for years. He once kicked out a window and my husband and I had to repair at 4 am in morning with duct tape in middle of winter. His anger issues stem from his perceived inadequacies. He thinks he is a loser, stupid, not worth anything, etc.
Last month during a drunken rage, he threatened my husband, verbally abused us (which wasn't new but we had had enough), we called the police and charged him with assault. He was taken to police station and charged with assault. He was released the next day. We had moved to a new city a few months prior. His familiar city had a population of 100,000. We moved to a city of over a million people so he was definitely out of his comfort zone. Anyway, his sister helped him find a homeless shelter to go to. That was on Dec 1. Since then he has tried to get help from the mental health system, but help is limited. His Dad (my husband of 40 yrs) passed away a week ago, so he is also dealing with that right now too.
Today he asked me once again (he has asked many times) if he could move back home. I said no, because I don't want the verbal abuse, I don't want to listen to him yell and scream all night long, and frankly I am kind of scared of him. He once told me that when he gets enough nerve to kill himself he will take me with him. He has never harmed me physically.
I don't know what to do. He is still in homeless shelter and hates it. He doesn't want to go to rehab for alcohol addiction. He doesn't have any friends because we moved recently, all his relatives have written him off. He hates his life and his situation, but he is still unwilling to accept responsibility for his situation.
Help! He is really a decent person and he is so sensitive. He is lost. I want to help him, but I don't want to allow him back home because I'm afraid it will end up back in the same situation.
This is my first post here. I am overwhelmed and don't know what to do or think, so all advice is appreciated.
My son is 22 yrs old. His last full year of education was grade 7, although he went in and out of schooling for a few years after. He is bright, not just a Mom's opinion but from several teachers over the years. I believe he has ADD, Avoidance Personality Disorder, maybe some sociopathic traits, and is an alcoholic. He also smokes weed, but has so far not done anything harder than that.
He has anger issues. He has damaged so many electronic devices (phones, TVs, gaming consoles, etc), and has smashed many walls and ruined furniture in our house. This has been happening for years. He once kicked out a window and my husband and I had to repair at 4 am in morning with duct tape in middle of winter. His anger issues stem from his perceived inadequacies. He thinks he is a loser, stupid, not worth anything, etc.
Last month during a drunken rage, he threatened my husband, verbally abused us (which wasn't new but we had had enough), we called the police and charged him with assault. He was taken to police station and charged with assault. He was released the next day. We had moved to a new city a few months prior. His familiar city had a population of 100,000. We moved to a city of over a million people so he was definitely out of his comfort zone. Anyway, his sister helped him find a homeless shelter to go to. That was on Dec 1. Since then he has tried to get help from the mental health system, but help is limited. His Dad (my husband of 40 yrs) passed away a week ago, so he is also dealing with that right now too.
Today he asked me once again (he has asked many times) if he could move back home. I said no, because I don't want the verbal abuse, I don't want to listen to him yell and scream all night long, and frankly I am kind of scared of him. He once told me that when he gets enough nerve to kill himself he will take me with him. He has never harmed me physically.
I don't know what to do. He is still in homeless shelter and hates it. He doesn't want to go to rehab for alcohol addiction. He doesn't have any friends because we moved recently, all his relatives have written him off. He hates his life and his situation, but he is still unwilling to accept responsibility for his situation.
Help! He is really a decent person and he is so sensitive. He is lost. I want to help him, but I don't want to allow him back home because I'm afraid it will end up back in the same situation.