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<blockquote data-quote="ShakinThingzUp" data-source="post: 98454" data-attributes="member: 4250"><p>Here's an option for tantrums/rages... I learned this method through a foster mom friend while she was "coaching" me through my daughters healing process for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (lots of rages and destructive to her room when put in "time out", etc.)</p><p></p><p>We used "Time Out With a Twist" and found great results, gradually.</p><p></p><p>To begin, you start by explaining the process to the child & that its the new "system" or rule or however you want to call it. You sit down when he's being good and have a "chat," and tell him how it should work.</p><p></p><p>You pick a spot - usually in the center of the house, where activities are going on around him... not isolated. In my house it was the middle of the hallway. I placed a small chair there, and gave my daughter the option of the chair or the floor beside it.</p><p></p><p>That is the "Time Out" spot.</p><p></p><p>Whenever she misbehaved, I said "Time Out." You are to say nothing else..... do not yell, do not demand they go, and do not lose your temper. Simply say TIME OUT with a gentle smile...</p><p></p><p>The rule was that she IMMEDIATELY had to go to the time out spot and sit, quietly. She had to make it to the chair without stomping, whining, or yellling, and sit there quietly.</p><p></p><p>But, here's the twist. As soon as her cute little butt hit that chair she could get up if she wanted to. All she had to was:</p><p>A - Come to me and apologize.</p><p>B - Tell me what she did wrong.</p><p>C - Tell me what she should've done when she got mad, instead of what she did do.</p><p></p><p>Then, she could be-bop off to play if she wanted.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't seem like much, but it is....... its really hard for a kid to tell you themselves what they did wrong (to admit it) ON THEIR OWN...... sometimes they will sit in that spot and whine and moan and groan for a long time rather than admit they did something wrong.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile........... you go on about your business... do the laundry, cook dinner... everyone in the house is to walk right past and ignore the whining child acting silly.</p><p></p><p>Every once in a while, I would stop and with a smile and love in my eyes tell my daughter "You know you can get up anytime you want, the only person holding you in that chair is you."</p><p></p><p>The first few weeks my daughter would throw rages right in that spot pretty much.... but, gradually, she tested it out, to see if I was telling the truth --- if I would really just let her go back to play after apologizing, etc. I kept to my word, showing her she could TRUST my word (which was part of the problem... she didn't trust me).</p><p></p><p>It helped very much to improve her behavior beyond the meltdowns... Then, we were on to the next stage of bad behavior...</p><p></p><p>God Bless!</p><p>Amy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ShakinThingzUp, post: 98454, member: 4250"] Here's an option for tantrums/rages... I learned this method through a foster mom friend while she was "coaching" me through my daughters healing process for Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (lots of rages and destructive to her room when put in "time out", etc.) We used "Time Out With a Twist" and found great results, gradually. To begin, you start by explaining the process to the child & that its the new "system" or rule or however you want to call it. You sit down when he's being good and have a "chat," and tell him how it should work. You pick a spot - usually in the center of the house, where activities are going on around him... not isolated. In my house it was the middle of the hallway. I placed a small chair there, and gave my daughter the option of the chair or the floor beside it. That is the "Time Out" spot. Whenever she misbehaved, I said "Time Out." You are to say nothing else..... do not yell, do not demand they go, and do not lose your temper. Simply say TIME OUT with a gentle smile... The rule was that she IMMEDIATELY had to go to the time out spot and sit, quietly. She had to make it to the chair without stomping, whining, or yellling, and sit there quietly. But, here's the twist. As soon as her cute little butt hit that chair she could get up if she wanted to. All she had to was: A - Come to me and apologize. B - Tell me what she did wrong. C - Tell me what she should've done when she got mad, instead of what she did do. Then, she could be-bop off to play if she wanted. It doesn't seem like much, but it is....... its really hard for a kid to tell you themselves what they did wrong (to admit it) ON THEIR OWN...... sometimes they will sit in that spot and whine and moan and groan for a long time rather than admit they did something wrong. Meanwhile........... you go on about your business... do the laundry, cook dinner... everyone in the house is to walk right past and ignore the whining child acting silly. Every once in a while, I would stop and with a smile and love in my eyes tell my daughter "You know you can get up anytime you want, the only person holding you in that chair is you." The first few weeks my daughter would throw rages right in that spot pretty much.... but, gradually, she tested it out, to see if I was telling the truth --- if I would really just let her go back to play after apologizing, etc. I kept to my word, showing her she could TRUST my word (which was part of the problem... she didn't trust me). It helped very much to improve her behavior beyond the meltdowns... Then, we were on to the next stage of bad behavior... God Bless! Amy [/QUOTE]
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