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I need some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 98875" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>I'm throwing out ideas as they come to me. Things that I have said to my difficult child over time that have seemed to work.</p><p></p><p>On the heels of Shakespeare mom's journal idea, I have told Tink that it is VERY VERY ok to be mad or angry. Here, here is a pillow that you can beat up. Here is the room that you may go and scream in.</p><p></p><p>I could not have told her that while she was acting like your child is now (and she WAS acting like that not too long ago). I stared by making a deal with her. No yelling allowed in the house (at another person). The softer you talk, they eventually stop yelling so the can hear what you are saying. We are not perfect, we yell occasionally. but it is SO much better. </p><p></p><p>Baskets. From the Explosive Child book. Basically choosing your battles. These are the things worth making a fuss over. These are not, so I will not risk a meltdown. There are SO many less meltdowns now.</p><p></p><p>Humor. Lots and lots of humor. Not to make the child think that you are their friend, but to let them know that life is not all serious. Also, let them see you vulnerable once in awhile. Kids need to know that their parents are not perfect.</p><p></p><p>A few months of instilling that, and I had a much more adjusted kid. Sure, she still threw fits. That's when I was able to offer her choices on how to handle her fits. She was calm enough to listen and understand.</p><p></p><p>it is a LONG LONG road. On one hand, it is nice to have another parent in the house. On the other hand, it is a curse, because unless he is willing to be with you 100%, it is very difficult. For me, it was only me, but I never had to argue with anyone. </p><p></p><p>You'll get there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 98875, member: 3647"] I'm throwing out ideas as they come to me. Things that I have said to my difficult child over time that have seemed to work. On the heels of Shakespeare mom's journal idea, I have told Tink that it is VERY VERY ok to be mad or angry. Here, here is a pillow that you can beat up. Here is the room that you may go and scream in. I could not have told her that while she was acting like your child is now (and she WAS acting like that not too long ago). I stared by making a deal with her. No yelling allowed in the house (at another person). The softer you talk, they eventually stop yelling so the can hear what you are saying. We are not perfect, we yell occasionally. but it is SO much better. Baskets. From the Explosive Child book. Basically choosing your battles. These are the things worth making a fuss over. These are not, so I will not risk a meltdown. There are SO many less meltdowns now. Humor. Lots and lots of humor. Not to make the child think that you are their friend, but to let them know that life is not all serious. Also, let them see you vulnerable once in awhile. Kids need to know that their parents are not perfect. A few months of instilling that, and I had a much more adjusted kid. Sure, she still threw fits. That's when I was able to offer her choices on how to handle her fits. She was calm enough to listen and understand. it is a LONG LONG road. On one hand, it is nice to have another parent in the house. On the other hand, it is a curse, because unless he is willing to be with you 100%, it is very difficult. For me, it was only me, but I never had to argue with anyone. You'll get there. [/QUOTE]
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