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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 653401" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We actually got a tatoo, a very kind one "Family is Everything" for Jumper as a graduation present. We are not against discreet tatoos and hers does not show with her shirts on plus she is very clean cut when she dresses. I didn't see the big deal. So we paid for it and it wasn't cheap. But, and this is the upshot, Jumper has been a school star and a precious child at home. She does not beg for stuff. If we would have said no tatoo, she would have waited until she turned eighteen, then worked to pay for one and not defy us by getting some idiot to make his own tatoo on her skin. The tatoo is not a big deal to me.</p><p></p><p>What your son is doing beside the tatoo is a big deal. And again he is blaming the hookah on somebody else. I again don't believe him. And I'd be angry he was choosing these friends and his money train would have been cut off as soon as I found out he or somebody else was drinking in my car. It's against my rules. I don't try to find out the truth. I know I may never know everything. I did hold my kid accountable for everything that I knew about and if she started to say it was for somebody else or somebody else did it, she got the same consequences she would have gotten if I had caught her doing it. Moral of the story: If by chance you ARE innocent (which I admit I doubted), then if you hang around with somebody who would have those things on him and leave them in my car or take something from MY house, you pay the price. I am not concerned with other peoples problem kids and what they do. I only cared about my own child. I can not be a detective trying to find out the intricacies of every mishap.</p><p></p><p>Did you give him the Gameboy and Laptop? I'm a little confused. I'm sorry but nobody gives away those items. I am thinking...they are stolen? Maybe they were stolen and he had to pay them and that's where some of your money went. If my kid came home with a laptop that didn't belong to him, I would ask a lot of questions.</p><p></p><p>If I were you (and I know I'm not) your kid would be walking around without any chance of driving my vehicle again, not allowed to bring H. to the house, he would have told H. about the STD in front of me (seems that has fallen by the wayside), and most likely he would be straddling either getting good grades without our nagging, working full time, or leaving our hosue and being the man he claims he is because he is eighteen. It isn't easy, but I did do it and it did work at least here.</p><p></p><p>I am a very soft touch with my grown kids unless they break the law or go postal on me. Frankly, I am starting to understand that Bart only goes postal when he is under stress and, if I"m honest, so do I. I'm much better at it than he is, but I'm older. Under pressure at his age, not so much. I believe I now have no problem kids, and that feels good. They're all productive and good to me (unless Bart is under pressure).</p><p></p><p>Please, please hold your son accountable. It will pay off. In spades. It may take time, but he is a good person inside.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 653401, member: 1550"] We actually got a tatoo, a very kind one "Family is Everything" for Jumper as a graduation present. We are not against discreet tatoos and hers does not show with her shirts on plus she is very clean cut when she dresses. I didn't see the big deal. So we paid for it and it wasn't cheap. But, and this is the upshot, Jumper has been a school star and a precious child at home. She does not beg for stuff. If we would have said no tatoo, she would have waited until she turned eighteen, then worked to pay for one and not defy us by getting some idiot to make his own tatoo on her skin. The tatoo is not a big deal to me. What your son is doing beside the tatoo is a big deal. And again he is blaming the hookah on somebody else. I again don't believe him. And I'd be angry he was choosing these friends and his money train would have been cut off as soon as I found out he or somebody else was drinking in my car. It's against my rules. I don't try to find out the truth. I know I may never know everything. I did hold my kid accountable for everything that I knew about and if she started to say it was for somebody else or somebody else did it, she got the same consequences she would have gotten if I had caught her doing it. Moral of the story: If by chance you ARE innocent (which I admit I doubted), then if you hang around with somebody who would have those things on him and leave them in my car or take something from MY house, you pay the price. I am not concerned with other peoples problem kids and what they do. I only cared about my own child. I can not be a detective trying to find out the intricacies of every mishap. Did you give him the Gameboy and Laptop? I'm a little confused. I'm sorry but nobody gives away those items. I am thinking...they are stolen? Maybe they were stolen and he had to pay them and that's where some of your money went. If my kid came home with a laptop that didn't belong to him, I would ask a lot of questions. If I were you (and I know I'm not) your kid would be walking around without any chance of driving my vehicle again, not allowed to bring H. to the house, he would have told H. about the STD in front of me (seems that has fallen by the wayside), and most likely he would be straddling either getting good grades without our nagging, working full time, or leaving our hosue and being the man he claims he is because he is eighteen. It isn't easy, but I did do it and it did work at least here. I am a very soft touch with my grown kids unless they break the law or go postal on me. Frankly, I am starting to understand that Bart only goes postal when he is under stress and, if I"m honest, so do I. I'm much better at it than he is, but I'm older. Under pressure at his age, not so much. I believe I now have no problem kids, and that feels good. They're all productive and good to me (unless Bart is under pressure). Please, please hold your son accountable. It will pay off. In spades. It may take time, but he is a good person inside. [/QUOTE]
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