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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 653411" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I heard the whole hookah story early on too. I didn't even know what it was but I was told it was fun, "didn't hurt you" and hey mom why don't you come do it with me?...strawberry margarita flavor tastes great...and it's only $10 a person. </p><p></p><p>My head was spinning and I had no idea of the depth that was to come.</p><p></p><p>Keep it simple. Think about this: what he gets from you at this point, with his current behavior, should include no rewards or privileges. </p><p></p><p>You will never know what he is really doing, clean or not clean. We can't walk around 24/7 living somebody elses life.</p><p></p><p>Assume there are volumes you know nothing about. </p><p></p><p>Go on his actions and his behaviors...not his words and his promises. </p><p></p><p>If his actions and behaciors are not good, assume every word is a lie.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for the dizzy tailspin you are in. I understand what you are going through because I have been right where you are and I remember it very clearly. </p><p></p><p>Take a giant step back. Watch and wait. Offer little to nothing to him. Don't talk much...keep silent. When you are going nuts, get away from him and cry, sleep, scream and pound a pillow. When the crazies pass, do something kind for yourself. </p><p></p><p>He must learn that actions have consequences. This is adult stuff and it is necessary for survival in this world. I believe this is the #1 lesson our difficult child kids and young adults must learn in order to change. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 653411, member: 17542"] I heard the whole hookah story early on too. I didn't even know what it was but I was told it was fun, "didn't hurt you" and hey mom why don't you come do it with me?...strawberry margarita flavor tastes great...and it's only $10 a person. My head was spinning and I had no idea of the depth that was to come. Keep it simple. Think about this: what he gets from you at this point, with his current behavior, should include no rewards or privileges. You will never know what he is really doing, clean or not clean. We can't walk around 24/7 living somebody elses life. Assume there are volumes you know nothing about. Go on his actions and his behaviors...not his words and his promises. If his actions and behaciors are not good, assume every word is a lie. I am sorry for the dizzy tailspin you are in. I understand what you are going through because I have been right where you are and I remember it very clearly. Take a giant step back. Watch and wait. Offer little to nothing to him. Don't talk much...keep silent. When you are going nuts, get away from him and cry, sleep, scream and pound a pillow. When the crazies pass, do something kind for yourself. He must learn that actions have consequences. This is adult stuff and it is necessary for survival in this world. I believe this is the #1 lesson our difficult child kids and young adults must learn in order to change. Hang in there. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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