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<blockquote data-quote="YogiLori" data-source="post: 762724" data-attributes="member: 30044"><p><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /> <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /><img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /> Nandina - thank you so much. Earlier today I felt so strong and as the day went on, that sinking feeling came upon me. Like omg, how will he figure it out! I am sure he is so hurt that we would not allow him to come back for 6 weeks. I keep thinking of that and get sooo down. And you are so right, I cried for the entire month of June and most of July everyday. I isolated and spoke to my husband but he gets so tired of saying the same things. My mother in law helps alot and I just really wanted to speak to parents who knew what I was going through. I opened my computer and there was your message. Thank you. It is SO HARD to detach. And my son is so strong willed - I have never seen anything like it. And, he wants me/us to know we hurt him. It's a dynamic that I have played into and it is so dysfunctional. I keep thinking he will starve, or die of loneliness, or die because we wouldn't help him. But, he does not want the help we offer - in fact - he insults us like we don't know anything. Over the summer he was a lifeguard but he also had about 3 lawns he mowed in which he made $100/week. After we asked him to leave he stopped mowing. The people would call my husband because my son would not answer his phone. Nathan would say he'd do it and never follow through so my husband would have to do it. This happened all summer!! My son said, "I'll mow on my time, not theirs." This was beyond frustrating. He could have made more $ but it caused friction between us and him and with our neighbors!!! Our son never remembers these things probably because he's high. Earlier before his DUI, he brought some girl over and she slept over! He didn't ask, he assumed we would be okay with it. Then we spoke to him about it and it was a terrible yelling match. He just does not understand and when we try and explain our rules - curfew, no drugs, you must work........he just sleeps the day away and asks me to make him lunch at 3:00pm! Despite his lazy unmotivated behavior, it is hard to detach and I worry he will never speak to me again........ I thank you so much for writing to me. It means so much and it is exactly what keeps me strong! I feel better again. Love and hugs to you!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="YogiLori, post: 762724, member: 30044"] ❤️ ❤️❤️ Nandina - thank you so much. Earlier today I felt so strong and as the day went on, that sinking feeling came upon me. Like omg, how will he figure it out! I am sure he is so hurt that we would not allow him to come back for 6 weeks. I keep thinking of that and get sooo down. And you are so right, I cried for the entire month of June and most of July everyday. I isolated and spoke to my husband but he gets so tired of saying the same things. My mother in law helps alot and I just really wanted to speak to parents who knew what I was going through. I opened my computer and there was your message. Thank you. It is SO HARD to detach. And my son is so strong willed - I have never seen anything like it. And, he wants me/us to know we hurt him. It's a dynamic that I have played into and it is so dysfunctional. I keep thinking he will starve, or die of loneliness, or die because we wouldn't help him. But, he does not want the help we offer - in fact - he insults us like we don't know anything. Over the summer he was a lifeguard but he also had about 3 lawns he mowed in which he made $100/week. After we asked him to leave he stopped mowing. The people would call my husband because my son would not answer his phone. Nathan would say he'd do it and never follow through so my husband would have to do it. This happened all summer!! My son said, "I'll mow on my time, not theirs." This was beyond frustrating. He could have made more $ but it caused friction between us and him and with our neighbors!!! Our son never remembers these things probably because he's high. Earlier before his DUI, he brought some girl over and she slept over! He didn't ask, he assumed we would be okay with it. Then we spoke to him about it and it was a terrible yelling match. He just does not understand and when we try and explain our rules - curfew, no drugs, you must work........he just sleeps the day away and asks me to make him lunch at 3:00pm! Despite his lazy unmotivated behavior, it is hard to detach and I worry he will never speak to me again........ I thank you so much for writing to me. It means so much and it is exactly what keeps me strong! I feel better again. Love and hugs to you!!! [/QUOTE]
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