Thanks, it is so hard, and I agree - my son is different with me than my husband. We had a very difficult interaction via text two weeks ago when he was asking to move back and I kept saying NO and giving him reasons. So he called my husband today to ask questions about a job application. Who knows where - but at least he is applying. We are going to meet with my therapist tomorrow morning so we can talk it through. I get so anxious when I don't give my son what he wants but I have said NO. And, when he says hurtful things, I tell him that hurt me deeply. At least I am setting my expectations about what he can say to me. And NO on the living here.......It feels like a win but I feel miserable even though. My son is the best manipulator and narcissist.....I know he is 19 but he is. I hope he grows out of it. Being in the real world and not in his room in our house will teach him. He would not even stay in a college dorm and talked us into living at home. It really was awful and I am a mom and want to take care of him - just naturally - but I feel resentful very fast because he takes and takes and takes and has that entitled attitude. We have to keep a separation or I will not be able to stay strong - it will take too much energy for me to stay strong.....He is REALLY strong and my therapist says he will take the path of least resistance which is wearing us down..........nope......not this time. And I was telling someone else that my mother in law grew up with 10 brothers and sisters on a farm in KS with outdoor plumbing and a dirt floor. She is salt of the earth and does not run her A/C so it is 92 in her house all summer, its kind of a dirty house (and I know my son doesn't like it) and she has no wifi.......he WILL NOT enjoy that. She is a wonderful soul and my husband is low maintenance, smart, tough, and knows what is important - so are his sisters.......We tried to teach our son those things but video games, social media, the wrong friends, marijuana, the pandemic - his strong will and defiance........he just keeps fighting w us and won't follow the rules!! I am literally on an emotional roller coaster today. I don't want to be, I am aware that I am, but I am letting my emotions get the best of me. It is really hard lately. I am working on it but I am not easily strong with saying no and not knowing where he will go......I have to keep working at it. 
