I need to be more assertive..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    We had counseling (if you want to call it that) this evening- this was with the guy who counsels the drug addicts (no- difficult child doesn't do drugs). Anyway, not only is it his bragging about himself counseling the addicts that gets on our nerves, but I noticed today that although we've been talking to him about every 2 weeks for 3-4 mos., he is still asking about the court order, what is difficult child's diagnosis, what medications is he on and why are we there, every single time. Ya think this has anything to do with things not progressing? This is like IEP meetings used to be before I found this board. :)

    Today, he said he needed to get the info in his computer. Before, he had to get it written down. Really, I think he just can't stay focused. He would ask "what happened 2 years ago" and I had about 30 secs to answer that question. I mentioned a couple of times that those were questions that would take at least 1 full session to go over. Then, he said "what happens in late winter/early spring that makes difficult child manic". HELLO!!! THAT IS WHY WE ARE HERE! Then, well, he's stable now- I really don't see anything going on with him right now. It sounds like everything is pretty good until next winter/spring hits. (Maybe I should have asked him to write a letter to judge saying that.) Anyway, I said "well, I'd like to get pro-active about this and PREVENT things from happening next year."

    I wouldn't be so aggravated about this if we hadn't gone over the same things every session for 3 mos. And this is the guy who spilled out the best treatmant for difficult child's issues on the phone the first time I talked with him. I guess that was a sale's pitch.

    Geez... But you know, no matter what he says if the PO calls to get his recommendation (which I could never take serious under these circumstances), we would have to do it.

    SIGH..... Yep, I guess I'll be pursuing counseling with the intern or someone else. This isn't the first time that I've felt I might need a counselor to get over the counseling. LOL!! I guess I need to be assertive right off the bat and let them know that I DO EXPECT something from them.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sounds as if the counselor might have a case of ADHD with executive dysfunction. Or maybe he's on drugs himself -- LOL!

    I think this is a good example of why a Parent Report can came in handy. It can be sent before the first appointment and a copy brought to every subsequent appointment. If the counselor "forgets" the details of your difficult child's case, you can simply whip it out of your bag and say, "The answers are all here."
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    LOL! I guess I thought the three previous letters from psychiatrist and a copy of the MDE would do it. When I first spoke to him on the phone in April or May, he said EXACTLY what is written as the recommended treatment for difficult child's and their family's on the bpkids website. I gave him the MDE report so he could see what had been identified as the underlying issues, the treatment goal, and the recommended type of therapy (cognitive). You'd think between all that, he could remember something.

    Today, I did have the thought of him having ADHD go thru my mind. But moreso, it looked like any record keeping he wanted to do or change, he would just do it while we're there. I guess that explains why he isn't really paying attention and isn't really prepared when we go in. I believe if I gave the pages of my parent record (which I need to update), he would either just stick it in his file and never look at it, or he'd read it while we're sitting there watching him.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This would infuriate me to no end! I would definitely bring it up at the next meeting that you have gone over this info. numerous times with him and would like to move on to something productive!
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What would happen if you told him that there was a problem. The lack of attention and focus on YOUR CHILD was keeping you from finding appropriate help for him. that this therapist's stories about druggies did not apply, and what is his real experience with adolescents with bipolar?

    Any chance this would yank his attention to you and to what you are paying him to focus on? Each time he gets off topic can you gently say, "That is interesting but we are having this problem ABC and not the problem you are obsessing on." ? Is there any chance this would helpmake these sessions more worthwhile?

    Just wondering.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Susie & Sharon- those are the things I need to think about- how to say something to get him back on topic. Really, though I think I'd rather switch. Maybe it is just my memories of when I was looking for a counselor for myself in my early 20's, but I keep thinking that if he knew what he was doing (and wasn't in over his head), he wouldn't keep finding a distraction. This is about the 3rd or 4th one over the past 2 1/2 years that we've had this problem with. The first counselor I took difficult child to came right out and told me that he thought this was above his head- he is the one that recommended I take difficult child to psychiatrist.