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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 346763" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Thank you everyone. </p><p></p><p>I'm just at a loss right now. The anger won't subside enough for me to cry. </p><p></p><p>I paid my respects to her family and got quite a bit of facts straight. Which in some ways makes it worse. She didn't pass last night but just a few hours ago. I accidentally wound up meeting with her Mom and sister right after they finished being interviewed by police. That's how soon it had happened. So that phone call last night won't haunt me. Her Mom said she'd seen no evidence of recent drug use, but my friend had confessed to me of her cheating. However her Mom said that friend had been having major issues with her kidney's failing due to the drug abuse and she suspected that might have been what happened.</p><p></p><p> The police are suspecting foul play and have ordered an autopsy.</p><p></p><p>It's probably just a case of rotten timing. But her estranged husband had just brought her boys home from visitation. There is a history of domestic violence (both directions). But friends Mom told me she had called over to the house about 2pm to talk to friend. The 14 yr old went to wake her up, came back to the phone and said he thought something was wrong because he couldn't wake her up. So the Mom raced over there and the rest you already know. </p><p></p><p>Do I think the estranged husband did it? I seriously doubt it. Once they'd seperated they actually got along pretty well. The 14 yr old called his Dad once his grandma got there and he came back into town to be with the boys. Since they were never divorced or even legally seperated the entire responsibilitiy of everything falls onto him. He just stopped by to make sure he had my correct phone number and asked if I remembered friend saying she wanted to be cremated. I said I didn't remember her saying it outright but I did know she wasn't opposed to it. The poor man is searching for things to do in order not to break down. He and friend had been together since they were 12 yrs old. Even with all the bad junk in the later years...........they basically grew up together. And they loved each other deeply in their own way.</p><p></p><p>14 year old is in shock. Family is worried because he is behaving as if it's just any other ordinary day. The 9 yr old (think Travis, except for the age difference they're identical) he is just lost and very confused.</p><p></p><p>Due to the police autopsy I have no clue when the funeral will be. I don't know how I'm going to swing it with a week full of tests, but I will <em><strong>not</strong></em> miss it. I gave up attempting to study for an exam tomorrow. I have far too many memories running thru my brain to concentrate.</p><p></p><p>We did our best to get her the help she needed. She just wasn't strong enough to take it. I know that, and I've known it for some time. But like I said, it doesn't make it any easier. When they're alive you still have that faint glimmer of everlasting hope that they will finally accept the help and want to live. Once they're gone..........there is no more fooling yourself. And I keep thinking over and over........such a waste, a horrible pathetic waste. She had amazing potential, she could've been anything she wanted. And she was so weak she threw it all away.</p><p></p><p>I am so angry at her. Right or wrong. I'm furious with her. To do this to her children, her mother, her family who have went bankrupt attempting to help her. I'm angry for her for the 14 yr old to have had to find his mother dead and not know if it was natural causes or if she ODed. I'm angry at her for just giving up on life when she had so d*mn much to offer the world. I'm angry at her because her children will carry this memory of her with them forever. No child should ever have a memory like that.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. I'm not dealing with this well. The tears will likely hit me sometime in the night when my guard is down. And when I'm done being angry I'll start hurting for her and that might be worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 346763, member: 84"] Thank you everyone. I'm just at a loss right now. The anger won't subside enough for me to cry. I paid my respects to her family and got quite a bit of facts straight. Which in some ways makes it worse. She didn't pass last night but just a few hours ago. I accidentally wound up meeting with her Mom and sister right after they finished being interviewed by police. That's how soon it had happened. So that phone call last night won't haunt me. Her Mom said she'd seen no evidence of recent drug use, but my friend had confessed to me of her cheating. However her Mom said that friend had been having major issues with her kidney's failing due to the drug abuse and she suspected that might have been what happened. The police are suspecting foul play and have ordered an autopsy. It's probably just a case of rotten timing. But her estranged husband had just brought her boys home from visitation. There is a history of domestic violence (both directions). But friends Mom told me she had called over to the house about 2pm to talk to friend. The 14 yr old went to wake her up, came back to the phone and said he thought something was wrong because he couldn't wake her up. So the Mom raced over there and the rest you already know. Do I think the estranged husband did it? I seriously doubt it. Once they'd seperated they actually got along pretty well. The 14 yr old called his Dad once his grandma got there and he came back into town to be with the boys. Since they were never divorced or even legally seperated the entire responsibilitiy of everything falls onto him. He just stopped by to make sure he had my correct phone number and asked if I remembered friend saying she wanted to be cremated. I said I didn't remember her saying it outright but I did know she wasn't opposed to it. The poor man is searching for things to do in order not to break down. He and friend had been together since they were 12 yrs old. Even with all the bad junk in the later years...........they basically grew up together. And they loved each other deeply in their own way. 14 year old is in shock. Family is worried because he is behaving as if it's just any other ordinary day. The 9 yr old (think Travis, except for the age difference they're identical) he is just lost and very confused. Due to the police autopsy I have no clue when the funeral will be. I don't know how I'm going to swing it with a week full of tests, but I will [I][B]not[/B][/I] miss it. I gave up attempting to study for an exam tomorrow. I have far too many memories running thru my brain to concentrate. We did our best to get her the help she needed. She just wasn't strong enough to take it. I know that, and I've known it for some time. But like I said, it doesn't make it any easier. When they're alive you still have that faint glimmer of everlasting hope that they will finally accept the help and want to live. Once they're gone..........there is no more fooling yourself. And I keep thinking over and over........such a waste, a horrible pathetic waste. She had amazing potential, she could've been anything she wanted. And she was so weak she threw it all away. I am so angry at her. Right or wrong. I'm furious with her. To do this to her children, her mother, her family who have went bankrupt attempting to help her. I'm angry for her for the 14 yr old to have had to find his mother dead and not know if it was natural causes or if she ODed. I'm angry at her for just giving up on life when she had so d*mn much to offer the world. I'm angry at her because her children will carry this memory of her with them forever. No child should ever have a memory like that. I'm sorry. I'm not dealing with this well. The tears will likely hit me sometime in the night when my guard is down. And when I'm done being angry I'll start hurting for her and that might be worse. [/QUOTE]
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