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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 264390" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi KJS,</p><p>I am so sorry you feel so beaten down. I do think it is good you told husband he can deal with difficult child now and I think you ought to stick to that. You really need to step way back and rejuvenate--you truly do need some perspective and I think going to Chicago for a day is a great idea. You have lost yourself--your identity is totally tied up with husband and difficult child. They will walk all over you and have no respect for you til you stand up for yourself--and you have to believe that you deserve to regain your identity. Who were you before you had difficult child? You need that person!</p><p></p><p>I remember one of my lowest points with my difficult child 1. I think she was about 13 or 14 and she was doing whatever she wanted, had no respect for me, seemed to not care a bit about my feelings. I was in tears and in deep pain because I thought I had "lost" her. Her therapist, who was a twit, actually did give me a piece of good advice though. She told me I had to step up to the plate--I was crying and wanted her sympathy and she really did not give me any. Told me I was the parent and I had to step up to the plate now. After that I never sunk that low again. I made plenty of mistakes but I took my power back. </p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself, KJS--you will not be able to help anyone if you don't put yourself first now.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 264390, member: 3450"] Hi KJS, I am so sorry you feel so beaten down. I do think it is good you told husband he can deal with difficult child now and I think you ought to stick to that. You really need to step way back and rejuvenate--you truly do need some perspective and I think going to Chicago for a day is a great idea. You have lost yourself--your identity is totally tied up with husband and difficult child. They will walk all over you and have no respect for you til you stand up for yourself--and you have to believe that you deserve to regain your identity. Who were you before you had difficult child? You need that person! I remember one of my lowest points with my difficult child 1. I think she was about 13 or 14 and she was doing whatever she wanted, had no respect for me, seemed to not care a bit about my feelings. I was in tears and in deep pain because I thought I had "lost" her. Her therapist, who was a twit, actually did give me a piece of good advice though. She told me I had to step up to the plate--I was crying and wanted her sympathy and she really did not give me any. Told me I was the parent and I had to step up to the plate now. After that I never sunk that low again. I made plenty of mistakes but I took my power back. Take care of yourself, KJS--you will not be able to help anyone if you don't put yourself first now. Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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