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<blockquote data-quote="Wiped Out" data-source="post: 264737" data-attributes="member: 1631"><p>Kjs,</p><p>I'm sorry for your pain. I definitely am a member of the "I hate you Club" from my children and that is some of the nicer things they have said. I know it hurts but I've built up my rhino skin so your welcome to share. There have been times when I've cried but I try to just say calm and often use one of Linda's favorite replies, "thanks for sharing". Then I try to move on to another conversation or if I am feeling close to tears, which isn't often anymore, then I try to keep up a good front until I can get somewhere private where they won't know I'm crying.</p><p></p><p>I know my difficult child feels I've ruined his life. Last week he said, "Dad, why did you ever marry mom?" He doesn't like me to give him hugs yet husband is allowed to hug him all the time. He even called husband back one day as husband was leaving school after walking in his medications. He called him back to ask for a goodbye kiss. Does this hurt? Sure to an extent. However, I know I am not ruining his life, I know I am doing the best I can, I know I am the one who does most of the disciplining (although husband supports me on it). I refuse to take on the guilt and ownership of this. It isn't always easy either as I was raised on Catholic guilt<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I never yell back although at times I've been known to say, "Well I love you, but right now I don't like your actions very much at all."</p><p></p><p>I really love my therapist because she is so good at helping me with all of the things with difficult child (and easy child for that matter). Mostly I get support from the wise people here on the board.</p><p></p><p>The others are right about having them see you be happy. Do some nice things for you kjs, you so deserve them. Sending some flowers to brighten your day<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flowers.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flowers:" title="flowers :flowers:" data-shortname=":flowers:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wiped Out, post: 264737, member: 1631"] Kjs, I'm sorry for your pain. I definitely am a member of the "I hate you Club" from my children and that is some of the nicer things they have said. I know it hurts but I've built up my rhino skin so your welcome to share. There have been times when I've cried but I try to just say calm and often use one of Linda's favorite replies, "thanks for sharing". Then I try to move on to another conversation or if I am feeling close to tears, which isn't often anymore, then I try to keep up a good front until I can get somewhere private where they won't know I'm crying. I know my difficult child feels I've ruined his life. Last week he said, "Dad, why did you ever marry mom?" He doesn't like me to give him hugs yet husband is allowed to hug him all the time. He even called husband back one day as husband was leaving school after walking in his medications. He called him back to ask for a goodbye kiss. Does this hurt? Sure to an extent. However, I know I am not ruining his life, I know I am doing the best I can, I know I am the one who does most of the disciplining (although husband supports me on it). I refuse to take on the guilt and ownership of this. It isn't always easy either as I was raised on Catholic guilt:winking: I never yell back although at times I've been known to say, "Well I love you, but right now I don't like your actions very much at all." I really love my therapist because she is so good at helping me with all of the things with difficult child (and easy child for that matter). Mostly I get support from the wise people here on the board. The others are right about having them see you be happy. Do some nice things for you kjs, you so deserve them. Sending some flowers to brighten your day:flowers: [/QUOTE]
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