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Parent Emeritus
I read I find answers and strengths to live life
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 739119" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>Joy,</p><p></p><p>I am in the same boat right now, and I understand the push and pull, stress, and anxiety of having to set difficult boundaries, which are then ignored by our difficult children. I also understand the fear. Don't beat yourself up about not calling the police. You do what you have the strength to do at the time.</p><p></p><p>My son was released from jail three months ago. I am embarrassed to say I gave him $5,000 from my teacher's salary to help him get a car and housing. It's all gone. He hasn't changed; he used my address without my permission, and started using again. He's back in jail with vague apologies, talking about how he's been wronged, and already asking for a fan and money on his account. He has had unfair things happen to him also, but he is an 'adult', and life is unfair. He has a daughter in foster care, and she is the one who is really hurt by his behaviors.</p><p></p><p>I remember listening to a self-help person, saying to think about having a hundred dollars in your spiritual/emotional bank account each day. How much figurative money are you spending, and on what? Over the last fifteen years, a significant portion of my emotional $ has been spent on my two difficult children with no return in terms of peace of mind, respect, relationship, mutual care, etc.</p><p></p><p>I fall down all the time, but like you I keep coming to this site to get strength and wisdom from the members here. I am struggling, but I keep trying to learn to put my well-being first. </p><p>You are doing the best you can in difficult circumstances.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 739119, member: 19832"] Joy, I am in the same boat right now, and I understand the push and pull, stress, and anxiety of having to set difficult boundaries, which are then ignored by our difficult children. I also understand the fear. Don't beat yourself up about not calling the police. You do what you have the strength to do at the time. My son was released from jail three months ago. I am embarrassed to say I gave him $5,000 from my teacher's salary to help him get a car and housing. It's all gone. He hasn't changed; he used my address without my permission, and started using again. He's back in jail with vague apologies, talking about how he's been wronged, and already asking for a fan and money on his account. He has had unfair things happen to him also, but he is an 'adult', and life is unfair. He has a daughter in foster care, and she is the one who is really hurt by his behaviors. I remember listening to a self-help person, saying to think about having a hundred dollars in your spiritual/emotional bank account each day. How much figurative money are you spending, and on what? Over the last fifteen years, a significant portion of my emotional $ has been spent on my two difficult children with no return in terms of peace of mind, respect, relationship, mutual care, etc. I fall down all the time, but like you I keep coming to this site to get strength and wisdom from the members here. I am struggling, but I keep trying to learn to put my well-being first. You are doing the best you can in difficult circumstances. [/QUOTE]
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