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I saw my new therapist today
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 190912" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Heather, something I have done (which is why I wrote all those letters I mentioned before) is - I view people like this bloke, as a challenge. I EDUCATE them. I only give up on them when they clearly are never going to 'get it'.</p><p></p><p>Even though it annoys me, I always go through the motions and show willing, I make it clear that if our relationship/interaction fails, it won't be MY fault. Like my current gastroenterologist - I'm sure he's convinced I eat loads of junk food and drink like a fish, when in fact I eat very carefully and haven't had alcohol (apart from a taste every six months or so) for YEARS. And I gave it up, not because I couldn't handle it, but because I chose to, for the sake of a liver which inexplicably is unhealthy.</p><p></p><p>I've done this before - I did what I had to do, had all the tests, told the doctor all along that I knew the results would come back negative; and when they did, I gently said, "I told you so. NOW will you listen to me?" I also pointed out, at THAT point (which is why it's worth working towards and waiting for) that I had showed far more patience with his idiotic and unnecessary process than he probably would have, if he had been in my shoes.</p><p></p><p>The trouble with him is, your behaviour pattern (mine too, in similar situations) is exactly the same as someone who is a substance abuser but denying it. They have to do this. My specialist had me in hospital ten years ago, the only ward available happened to be the AIDS ward. I was there because I was an immunology patient. If I'd been on the ward the doctor had wanted me on, there would have been no problem, I would have been taking my medications as dispensed, in a far more normal way. But on the floor I'd had to be admitted to, it was policy that ALL patients had to be checked to see that they weren't palming or cheeking their medications for later sale on the street. My doctor told them to stop it in my case, but often a new nurse who hadn't been on duty for me before, would come in and insist. I went along with it; it was easier, in my case. But it did make me feel very uncomfortable.</p><p>In my case then - they knew I wasn't there for AIDS or drug addiction or anything like it, but protocol had to be followed. (Visiting time was interesting - I had a husband and kids coming to see me, all clean and freshly scrubbed. And I was a middle-aged housewife, I just didn't fit in with the other patients - three in regular contact with me were an ageing emaciated actor, a female junkie hooker on methadone and a prisoner from the local jail who was under protective watch).</p><p></p><p>So Heather, hang in there. Don't let him have the satisfaction of thinking he was right about you having a drug or alcohol problem. Teach him, by sticking around and proving his suspicions unfounded, to not be so judgemental. Trust me - it is VERY satisfying!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 190912, member: 1991"] Heather, something I have done (which is why I wrote all those letters I mentioned before) is - I view people like this bloke, as a challenge. I EDUCATE them. I only give up on them when they clearly are never going to 'get it'. Even though it annoys me, I always go through the motions and show willing, I make it clear that if our relationship/interaction fails, it won't be MY fault. Like my current gastroenterologist - I'm sure he's convinced I eat loads of junk food and drink like a fish, when in fact I eat very carefully and haven't had alcohol (apart from a taste every six months or so) for YEARS. And I gave it up, not because I couldn't handle it, but because I chose to, for the sake of a liver which inexplicably is unhealthy. I've done this before - I did what I had to do, had all the tests, told the doctor all along that I knew the results would come back negative; and when they did, I gently said, "I told you so. NOW will you listen to me?" I also pointed out, at THAT point (which is why it's worth working towards and waiting for) that I had showed far more patience with his idiotic and unnecessary process than he probably would have, if he had been in my shoes. The trouble with him is, your behaviour pattern (mine too, in similar situations) is exactly the same as someone who is a substance abuser but denying it. They have to do this. My specialist had me in hospital ten years ago, the only ward available happened to be the AIDS ward. I was there because I was an immunology patient. If I'd been on the ward the doctor had wanted me on, there would have been no problem, I would have been taking my medications as dispensed, in a far more normal way. But on the floor I'd had to be admitted to, it was policy that ALL patients had to be checked to see that they weren't palming or cheeking their medications for later sale on the street. My doctor told them to stop it in my case, but often a new nurse who hadn't been on duty for me before, would come in and insist. I went along with it; it was easier, in my case. But it did make me feel very uncomfortable. In my case then - they knew I wasn't there for AIDS or drug addiction or anything like it, but protocol had to be followed. (Visiting time was interesting - I had a husband and kids coming to see me, all clean and freshly scrubbed. And I was a middle-aged housewife, I just didn't fit in with the other patients - three in regular contact with me were an ageing emaciated actor, a female junkie hooker on methadone and a prisoner from the local jail who was under protective watch). So Heather, hang in there. Don't let him have the satisfaction of thinking he was right about you having a drug or alcohol problem. Teach him, by sticking around and proving his suspicions unfounded, to not be so judgemental. Trust me - it is VERY satisfying! Marg [/QUOTE]
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