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General Parenting
I see difficult child tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 269820" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>K, take the visit as it happens. Don't go into it looking to the future, not even to tomorrow. You NEED to take these things 1 day at a time.</p><p></p><p>I know it seems like his future is screwed to you. In reality his future is TOTALLY up to him. You can influence it, and hopefully be a loving influence, but you cannot dictate it.</p><p></p><p>I was reminded of the words of a man I heard speak once. I was in high school going to a state academic competition. The man who wrote the test was the head of the sociology dept of a junior college. He had served 10 years in jail for something (I don't remember what). But he used that time to go from an angry young man to an educated man with a future. And became head of a dept at a state run jr college.</p><p></p><p>He also wrote textbooks. </p><p></p><p>So just because your son is in juvie, is not getting the therapy YOU think is needed, etc... does NOT mean his future is trashed.</p><p></p><p>It just means his future is where it ALWAYS has been - in HIS hands.</p><p></p><p>We parents NEVER have the control with think we do. We just don't. We can only do so much, and we can only influence our kids so much.</p><p></p><p>Please just try to enjoy the visit tomorrow. </p><p></p><p>PLEASE.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 269820, member: 1233"] K, take the visit as it happens. Don't go into it looking to the future, not even to tomorrow. You NEED to take these things 1 day at a time. I know it seems like his future is screwed to you. In reality his future is TOTALLY up to him. You can influence it, and hopefully be a loving influence, but you cannot dictate it. I was reminded of the words of a man I heard speak once. I was in high school going to a state academic competition. The man who wrote the test was the head of the sociology dept of a junior college. He had served 10 years in jail for something (I don't remember what). But he used that time to go from an angry young man to an educated man with a future. And became head of a dept at a state run jr college. He also wrote textbooks. So just because your son is in juvie, is not getting the therapy YOU think is needed, etc... does NOT mean his future is trashed. It just means his future is where it ALWAYS has been - in HIS hands. We parents NEVER have the control with think we do. We just don't. We can only do so much, and we can only influence our kids so much. Please just try to enjoy the visit tomorrow. PLEASE. [/QUOTE]
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