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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 458833"><p>Ok an update on this situation. Ugh. My husband and I went to see him today. We went in separate cars. My son had a pass so we were able to walk off the unit so he could smoke a couple of cigs and my husband left and went to buy him some magazines. Gave me a few minutes with my son.... he did relapse a few nights ago on cough medicine... ugh but at least he admitted that to me. He also admitted the truth about an incident that happened about 12 years ago that I have always wondered about. Man he is a good liar because he has lied to me about it all these years. I thought you all gave great advice so I did not call the girlfriend... did ask him about it and had a fairly good but short conversation with him. Told him that I got how hard it was, that I had been through breakups and know how painful it is etc. Also mentioned that my mom (whom he adored) would have understood because my dad left her after a long marriage.</p><p></p><p>His claim is that the girlfriend has been calling and he is not responding and that he is kind of not doing that anymore. He seemed a lot better than the other day. We met the social worker and talked with her for a bit... their recommendation would be a partial treatment program for a couple of days but he told them he would not have transportation. I said we could give him transportation but basically he does not want to do a partial day tx. OK I am determined to have it be his choice and to not try to force anything. He agreed that the social worker could call me.</p><p></p><p>So we went back up my husband was not back yet. I decided to leave and go do an errand and then come home. My husband got the magazines and went back. There must have been a bit of a lag... because while he was there the intake line at the hospital got a call from a friend of the girlfriend saying that my son was calling her claiming he would committ suicide in the bathroom. Ugh. So of course he has lost the privledge of having passes until he sees the doctor.</p><p></p><p>My difficult children claim is that this did not happen that the girlfriend friends were just trying to make trouble for him. My husband told the nurse that we trust what the girlfriend says more than my son. And I came home and checked the phone records... well there are a million calls in a couple hours. 1 minute calls where he is probably leaving her a message. Obsessive stuff. </p><p></p><p>He is such a liar.</p><p></p><p>So I am going to see him tomorrow. I am going to print out the phone record and show it to the hospital, will call the social worker, and also confront him with it. I will not call the girlfriend though because I think that does cross a line and for goodness sake she doesn't need to get calls from me as well as from him.</p><p></p><p>He is feeling better enough to be his manipulating self who doesn't really see how much he needs help.</p><p></p><p>I have been reading up and I am really starting to think personality disorder. Sigh. Not that that makes any difference, still nothing I can do.</p><p></p><p>I realized last night at alanon that my hope that somehow he is going to turn a corner and get it together is probably a pipe dream. He is likely to be troubled for a long time and we just have to be resigned to the fact that this roller coaster is going to continue and we need to get better at riding it. I always hated roller coasters.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 458833"] Ok an update on this situation. Ugh. My husband and I went to see him today. We went in separate cars. My son had a pass so we were able to walk off the unit so he could smoke a couple of cigs and my husband left and went to buy him some magazines. Gave me a few minutes with my son.... he did relapse a few nights ago on cough medicine... ugh but at least he admitted that to me. He also admitted the truth about an incident that happened about 12 years ago that I have always wondered about. Man he is a good liar because he has lied to me about it all these years. I thought you all gave great advice so I did not call the girlfriend... did ask him about it and had a fairly good but short conversation with him. Told him that I got how hard it was, that I had been through breakups and know how painful it is etc. Also mentioned that my mom (whom he adored) would have understood because my dad left her after a long marriage. His claim is that the girlfriend has been calling and he is not responding and that he is kind of not doing that anymore. He seemed a lot better than the other day. We met the social worker and talked with her for a bit... their recommendation would be a partial treatment program for a couple of days but he told them he would not have transportation. I said we could give him transportation but basically he does not want to do a partial day tx. OK I am determined to have it be his choice and to not try to force anything. He agreed that the social worker could call me. So we went back up my husband was not back yet. I decided to leave and go do an errand and then come home. My husband got the magazines and went back. There must have been a bit of a lag... because while he was there the intake line at the hospital got a call from a friend of the girlfriend saying that my son was calling her claiming he would committ suicide in the bathroom. Ugh. So of course he has lost the privledge of having passes until he sees the doctor. My difficult children claim is that this did not happen that the girlfriend friends were just trying to make trouble for him. My husband told the nurse that we trust what the girlfriend says more than my son. And I came home and checked the phone records... well there are a million calls in a couple hours. 1 minute calls where he is probably leaving her a message. Obsessive stuff. He is such a liar. So I am going to see him tomorrow. I am going to print out the phone record and show it to the hospital, will call the social worker, and also confront him with it. I will not call the girlfriend though because I think that does cross a line and for goodness sake she doesn't need to get calls from me as well as from him. He is feeling better enough to be his manipulating self who doesn't really see how much he needs help. I have been reading up and I am really starting to think personality disorder. Sigh. Not that that makes any difference, still nothing I can do. I realized last night at alanon that my hope that somehow he is going to turn a corner and get it together is probably a pipe dream. He is likely to be troubled for a long time and we just have to be resigned to the fact that this roller coaster is going to continue and we need to get better at riding it. I always hated roller coasters. TL [/QUOTE]
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