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I should keep my nose out of it right?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 458887" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I just went through this similar situation with Dude and his girl.........she called ME. Wanted to talk about the relationship. I told her I don't DO relationship advice and least not with her about my son. She was distraught. He was suicidal. I said they are perfect for each other. Gheeze louise. Couple of emos. </p><p></p><p>Neither really wanted to HEAR anything I had to say because my thoughts on suicide are blatent. Go for it. You talk - you worry me - then have at it. Then it hit me that since these two are just above a Rhesus monkey on the difficult child scale of emotions - this is the first LOVE either of them has had. That 'true" love. Now for any of US......and a broken heart happened - HOW DID IT FEEL? How did we handle it? It hurt like hades. OMG I still remember how badly MINE hurt. I can recall it vividly and I'm not a difficult child (shut up). But it was so painful I can recall it - 31 years later - THIRTY ONE years......and here I have an emotionally unstable over the edge difficult child who is not able to process anything let alone letting go.........and a 19 year old girl who is 1899 miles away - with her first true love /crush -------and add it up and yup......it feels like suicide is a good way out of this pain. So at 1,2.3.4. in the morning with work looming in the dawn -------where am I? Desperately trying to be an armchair er........bedside psychiatrist without involving myself, get to the point......and explain to him that I am not picking sides....I am not offering advice.........and if suicide is going to happen I will be beyond sad AND..........should there really BE a break up today.......suicide would leave ABSOLUTELY NO chance for ANY and I mean ANY reconcilliation between the two......it would be final. </p><p></p><p>Something to think about ---------and then went out on a limb and said -------and if he were dead......she would go on......and probably date, marry and have someone elses kids. </p><p></p><p>To which he replied - if she wasn't with him........he wanted her to think about HIS death every day.......</p><p></p><p>To which I replied........I doubt she would.......she would think about it for a while.......no doubt, but then would eventually find someone that would make her forget that he died to make her remember and his life would be in vain - she would go on - have kids.......and he wouldn't ever get to see her again - but do what he thought was best. </p><p></p><p>I needed to go to bed......should I call 911 or not? I really didnt think this was fair - I had to get up for work. </p><p></p><p></p><p>He asked if I was crying......I said I was......and I was (the stress was overwhelming) and then I told him I thought he was a selfish Bturd......to put me thorugh all of this......with both his brothers gone to think that I didn't love him and cherish him.....and that he would waste MY son over a girl......thanks a lot. Said I loved him.....hoped I talked to him tomorrow. Then hung up. </p><p></p><p>I didn't call him the next day-----------</p><p></p><p>Of course I was told if I didn't hear from him - he was dead. </p><p></p><p>I got a call day after that. And I blasted him.......I was NOT repeat NOT...........nice. I told him what I thought of his little stunt......and that he could get help anywhere........if he was that bad - GET SOME. Leave me out of it and don't ever pull that **** again.......I meant it. Still mean it. </p><p></p><p>Then he said he was sorry ------I told him )%(*#($*+@_)+ don't want a NOW apology - think about what you put me through and Ouixa through - My granddog......then apologize. </p><p></p><p>I don't think I've ever been SOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo furious with him in my life. I think he knew it. </p><p></p><p>Victim my apple bottoms.........I was the victim here - and I let him know it. I had to work.......I was tired.....this was not my problem..........and I am done playing suicide hotline. </p><p></p><p>But I do think......I'm right about not being able to handle broken heart like a normal person.........they don't know what it feels like........so that much I'll give him. </p><p></p><p>The rest.......NO MAAAAAAAAAAAAm. </p><p></p><p>He plays the suicide card again...........and someone in this house will be so unavailable he'll think something has happened in this house of biblical proportions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 458887, member: 4964"] I just went through this similar situation with Dude and his girl.........she called ME. Wanted to talk about the relationship. I told her I don't DO relationship advice and least not with her about my son. She was distraught. He was suicidal. I said they are perfect for each other. Gheeze louise. Couple of emos. Neither really wanted to HEAR anything I had to say because my thoughts on suicide are blatent. Go for it. You talk - you worry me - then have at it. Then it hit me that since these two are just above a Rhesus monkey on the difficult child scale of emotions - this is the first LOVE either of them has had. That 'true" love. Now for any of US......and a broken heart happened - HOW DID IT FEEL? How did we handle it? It hurt like hades. OMG I still remember how badly MINE hurt. I can recall it vividly and I'm not a difficult child (shut up). But it was so painful I can recall it - 31 years later - THIRTY ONE years......and here I have an emotionally unstable over the edge difficult child who is not able to process anything let alone letting go.........and a 19 year old girl who is 1899 miles away - with her first true love /crush -------and add it up and yup......it feels like suicide is a good way out of this pain. So at 1,2.3.4. in the morning with work looming in the dawn -------where am I? Desperately trying to be an armchair er........bedside psychiatrist without involving myself, get to the point......and explain to him that I am not picking sides....I am not offering advice.........and if suicide is going to happen I will be beyond sad AND..........should there really BE a break up today.......suicide would leave ABSOLUTELY NO chance for ANY and I mean ANY reconcilliation between the two......it would be final. Something to think about ---------and then went out on a limb and said -------and if he were dead......she would go on......and probably date, marry and have someone elses kids. To which he replied - if she wasn't with him........he wanted her to think about HIS death every day....... To which I replied........I doubt she would.......she would think about it for a while.......no doubt, but then would eventually find someone that would make her forget that he died to make her remember and his life would be in vain - she would go on - have kids.......and he wouldn't ever get to see her again - but do what he thought was best. I needed to go to bed......should I call 911 or not? I really didnt think this was fair - I had to get up for work. He asked if I was crying......I said I was......and I was (the stress was overwhelming) and then I told him I thought he was a selfish Bturd......to put me thorugh all of this......with both his brothers gone to think that I didn't love him and cherish him.....and that he would waste MY son over a girl......thanks a lot. Said I loved him.....hoped I talked to him tomorrow. Then hung up. I didn't call him the next day----------- Of course I was told if I didn't hear from him - he was dead. I got a call day after that. And I blasted him.......I was NOT repeat NOT...........nice. I told him what I thought of his little stunt......and that he could get help anywhere........if he was that bad - GET SOME. Leave me out of it and don't ever pull that **** again.......I meant it. Still mean it. Then he said he was sorry ------I told him )%(*#($*+@_)+ don't want a NOW apology - think about what you put me through and Ouixa through - My granddog......then apologize. I don't think I've ever been SOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo furious with him in my life. I think he knew it. Victim my apple bottoms.........I was the victim here - and I let him know it. I had to work.......I was tired.....this was not my problem..........and I am done playing suicide hotline. But I do think......I'm right about not being able to handle broken heart like a normal person.........they don't know what it feels like........so that much I'll give him. The rest.......NO MAAAAAAAAAAAAm. He plays the suicide card again...........and someone in this house will be so unavailable he'll think something has happened in this house of biblical proportions. [/QUOTE]
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