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Parent Emeritus
I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 678148" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>I haven't read through this entire post yet but I whole heartedly agree with this statement. Hailing from a small town myself, I fully understand the desire to protect your reputation. But here's the thing, you cant really warn these people off and even if you try there is a good chance that they wont believe you. I know its hard but don't worry about your reputation right now. The thing is, your rep will take a hit for a bit but as time goes by and she burns more and more bridges the community will eventually know all about her and her issues and will have a much better understanding of your situation.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>For the most part this is true. Working in a prison, I deal with offenders every day who have even managed to burn the parental bridge as well. Granted, a lot of the parents I deal with aren't exactly parent of the year materiel either but they are still parents. As cold blooded as it may sound, sometimes there comes a point where you have to write off a child and focus on the rest of the family. Those of you who have Difficult Child's who have been incarcerated repeatedly know what I'm talking about and may have even started to think that way yourself. You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed and its beyond useless to wait on someone to fix themselves when they won't even acknowledge that they are broken.</p><p></p><p>My advise, keep it simple. Don't give details. If you feel the need to speak with these people or are cornered into talking with them, don't bash your daughter. Simply inform them that you would consider letting her move in to be ill advised but that its their decision. For the love of all that you consider Holy PLEASE!!! don't go visit with them. It may go well but odds are that it will end badly. Above all, remember that NONE of this is your fault.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 678148, member: 18238"] I haven't read through this entire post yet but I whole heartedly agree with this statement. Hailing from a small town myself, I fully understand the desire to protect your reputation. But here's the thing, you cant really warn these people off and even if you try there is a good chance that they wont believe you. I know its hard but don't worry about your reputation right now. The thing is, your rep will take a hit for a bit but as time goes by and she burns more and more bridges the community will eventually know all about her and her issues and will have a much better understanding of your situation. For the most part this is true. Working in a prison, I deal with offenders every day who have even managed to burn the parental bridge as well. Granted, a lot of the parents I deal with aren't exactly parent of the year materiel either but they are still parents. As cold blooded as it may sound, sometimes there comes a point where you have to write off a child and focus on the rest of the family. Those of you who have Difficult Child's who have been incarcerated repeatedly know what I'm talking about and may have even started to think that way yourself. You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed and its beyond useless to wait on someone to fix themselves when they won't even acknowledge that they are broken. My advise, keep it simple. Don't give details. If you feel the need to speak with these people or are cornered into talking with them, don't bash your daughter. Simply inform them that you would consider letting her move in to be ill advised but that its their decision. For the love of all that you consider Holy PLEASE!!! don't go visit with them. It may go well but odds are that it will end badly. Above all, remember that NONE of this is your fault. [/QUOTE]
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I spent the morning in tears...
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