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I spent the morning in tears...
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 678455" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hey Walrus, it is okay to hold off on the call for awhile, until YOU feel comfortable talking with her. Then, remember, if she starts on you, YOU control the conversation with short, neutral answers. Boundaries work for phone calls too, with RESPECT being top of the list. If your daughter cannot address you with respect, then a frank, "I am sorry, but I will not be spoken to this way." is warranted.</p><p> I know the feeling Walrus, I have <em>two</em> of them out there spinning awful stuff about me. You know what? ANYONE who believes the stories are people I do not want to associate with, anyway. They are bottom feeders.</p><p><em>You know the true story</em>, and so will others, the longer they deal with your daughter.</p><p>I am sorry for this Walrus. None of us deserve this.</p><p>You know who you are and what you stand for. You have done a good job, in standing your ground and not allowing her to live in your home. Stay strong and stand firm in your convictions, it is the right thing. It is hard, but it is right. To heck with other judgmental people, let them figure it out.</p><p><em>All we do</em> is between us and our higher power, in the end all.</p><p></p><p>This is true Walrus, feelings are not faucets, I love this, by the way. <em>Feelings are not faucets. </em></p><p>What our kids say and do is very hurtful.</p><p>I am sorry for the pain of this Walrus, it is so hard.</p><p>Everything in our being just wants things to be right for our kids. Things go haywire with them.</p><p> If that is not bad enough to deal with, they go and blame it all on us.</p><p>Then, they go and talk badly of us.</p><p>It is horrible, destructive and just plain mean.</p><p>How could anyone go without having a puffy eyed melt down,</p><p>really good cry over it every once in a while, or even more often?</p><p></p><p>Get your feelings out, don't try to turn them off, get them out anyway you can.</p><p>Then build yourself back up.</p><p></p><p>YOU are worth it. You matter, your feelings count.</p><p></p><p>It will be okay Walrus, hang in there.</p><p></p><p>You are not alone.</p><p></p><p>Really, really big hugs....</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 678455, member: 19522"] Hey Walrus, it is okay to hold off on the call for awhile, until YOU feel comfortable talking with her. Then, remember, if she starts on you, YOU control the conversation with short, neutral answers. Boundaries work for phone calls too, with RESPECT being top of the list. If your daughter cannot address you with respect, then a frank, "I am sorry, but I will not be spoken to this way." is warranted. I know the feeling Walrus, I have [I]two[/I] of them out there spinning awful stuff about me. You know what? ANYONE who believes the stories are people I do not want to associate with, anyway. They are bottom feeders. [I]You know the true story[/I], and so will others, the longer they deal with your daughter. I am sorry for this Walrus. None of us deserve this. You know who you are and what you stand for. You have done a good job, in standing your ground and not allowing her to live in your home. Stay strong and stand firm in your convictions, it is the right thing. It is hard, but it is right. To heck with other judgmental people, let them figure it out. [I]All we do[/I] is between us and our higher power, in the end all. This is true Walrus, feelings are not faucets, I love this, by the way. [I]Feelings are not faucets. [/I] What our kids say and do is very hurtful. I am sorry for the pain of this Walrus, it is so hard. Everything in our being just wants things to be right for our kids. Things go haywire with them. If that is not bad enough to deal with, they go and blame it all on us. Then, they go and talk badly of us. It is horrible, destructive and just plain mean. How could anyone go without having a puffy eyed melt down, really good cry over it every once in a while, or even more often? Get your feelings out, don't try to turn them off, get them out anyway you can. Then build yourself back up. YOU are worth it. You matter, your feelings count. It will be okay Walrus, hang in there. You are not alone. Really, really big hugs.... leafy [/QUOTE]
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