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Substance Abuse
I *think* difficult child will be back in town soon. here we go again...
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 532974"><p>Exh-they will be together 4 years soon-since their junior year in HS. She transferred to his college this year and I know that's why he stayed up there. In a weak honest moment -- he cried to h that he had to go back because he felt trapped. But he lies a lot so I don't know. I recently ran across her pinterest board & it was full of big houses, big diamond rings & wedding dresses. There was a time when difficult child was on that lifestyle path... but not anymore. She pushed him to be more independent, get the apt, move out & this delusion of independence will cost him his ability to be independent in the future unless he shapes up. And as much as I'd love to make her the bad guy, I can't. The blame must rest on difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I know he won't be living with her family this summer, but they DO enable him and have cut off all contact with us. When this all happened in August, I got in touch w both of her parents in a heartfelt way and they TOTALLY ignored me. These people were our FRIENDS-THEY LIVE DOWN THE STREET and I don't get it. And I'm sure he must be feeding them lies about us; but still? They knew my son when he was a pre-medication, straight A, varsity athlete who had a close relationship with his parents and his brothers. He and his girlfriend spent ALL their time here. They MUST see the change in him. It's bizarre. And i know they let him drink there and i *guess* they let the kids smoke weed there too. Maybe even smoke with them? Who knows? I've been told her dad is an alcoholic. He's known to be a slacker/partier. He comes from a wealthy family, plays a lot of golf; hangs with the cronies at the bar after etc. and doesn't work much. Her mom has a great career, went back to school & got an MBA 10 years ago & earns a fortune & travels the world. So maybe the slacker guy; hardworking woman is her ideal? That's why the kids hung out here so often-between her mom's job & her dad's leisure; girlfriend was practically neglected. Empty house, no dinner etc. But since then, her sister graduated uni & moved home and her grandma moved in. So, last summer they started spending a lot of time at her house. None of it makes sense. </p><p></p><p>But for the most part, I've let that part go-my worry is difficult child and I have a life to live. I do worry that she will wake up and see him for who he has become. She's adorable & on track with school. She will have other options & the pot smoking, drop out may lose his shine. And I worry about picking up the pieces if that happens.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 532974"] Exh-they will be together 4 years soon-since their junior year in HS. She transferred to his college this year and I know that's why he stayed up there. In a weak honest moment -- he cried to h that he had to go back because he felt trapped. But he lies a lot so I don't know. I recently ran across her pinterest board & it was full of big houses, big diamond rings & wedding dresses. There was a time when difficult child was on that lifestyle path... but not anymore. She pushed him to be more independent, get the apt, move out & this delusion of independence will cost him his ability to be independent in the future unless he shapes up. And as much as I'd love to make her the bad guy, I can't. The blame must rest on difficult child. I know he won't be living with her family this summer, but they DO enable him and have cut off all contact with us. When this all happened in August, I got in touch w both of her parents in a heartfelt way and they TOTALLY ignored me. These people were our FRIENDS-THEY LIVE DOWN THE STREET and I don't get it. And I'm sure he must be feeding them lies about us; but still? They knew my son when he was a pre-medication, straight A, varsity athlete who had a close relationship with his parents and his brothers. He and his girlfriend spent ALL their time here. They MUST see the change in him. It's bizarre. And i know they let him drink there and i *guess* they let the kids smoke weed there too. Maybe even smoke with them? Who knows? I've been told her dad is an alcoholic. He's known to be a slacker/partier. He comes from a wealthy family, plays a lot of golf; hangs with the cronies at the bar after etc. and doesn't work much. Her mom has a great career, went back to school & got an MBA 10 years ago & earns a fortune & travels the world. So maybe the slacker guy; hardworking woman is her ideal? That's why the kids hung out here so often-between her mom's job & her dad's leisure; girlfriend was practically neglected. Empty house, no dinner etc. But since then, her sister graduated uni & moved home and her grandma moved in. So, last summer they started spending a lot of time at her house. None of it makes sense. But for the most part, I've let that part go-my worry is difficult child and I have a life to live. I do worry that she will wake up and see him for who he has become. She's adorable & on track with school. She will have other options & the pot smoking, drop out may lose his shine. And I worry about picking up the pieces if that happens. [/QUOTE]
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I *think* difficult child will be back in town soon. here we go again...
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