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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I think I am done, and I am so sad...
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<blockquote data-quote="Karenvm" data-source="post: 588696" data-attributes="member: 15766"><p>Thank you all. I am going to get that book today! The thing is, at almost-18, he probably is an "adult", but in no way has the maturity of an adult! Probably doesn't even have the maturity of most 18 year olds! He still lives in some fantasy world, will he will be just fine, get into medication school some day, and live happily every after. He is definitely smoking again (I found the evidence in his room), and he has told us and his therapist that he will no longer attend the IOP that he has been in since leaving the residential program (he only spent about two weeks in IOP). </p><p>He has no job, no money, and no drivers license. Not sure how far he will get without those things. We have decided that for now, until he turns 18 in June, we will just not do anything for him. We are not waking him up for school any longer (since that decision two days ago, he has walked the 4 or so miles to school two days in a row, about 3 hours late. That is, if he actually WENT to school). I refuse to drive him anywhere, give him money for anything, etc. He will run out of medications, so if he wants to continue therapy, HE will need to find a new doctor. He can easily browse my insurance's website and set up his appointment without my help. I'll drive him there if needed, but nothing more than that. He'll never do it. I am tired of seeking out docs, taking time off from work to bring him to appts, then listen to difficult child say how much he dislikes the doctor/therapist. Last plug to pull (other than giving him a bed to sleep in) is the cell phone. I think I will give him a date that I will no longer pay for it. of course, if he has the phone, I can track where he is, but that's not really "detaching", is it? </p><p>Taking it day by day, and some are harder than others. I do with there was a support group I could attend. I know there are alanon and narcanon groups, but not sure how many attendees will be parents of teens. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for the support. It really helps!</p><p>karen</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Karenvm, post: 588696, member: 15766"] Thank you all. I am going to get that book today! The thing is, at almost-18, he probably is an "adult", but in no way has the maturity of an adult! Probably doesn't even have the maturity of most 18 year olds! He still lives in some fantasy world, will he will be just fine, get into medication school some day, and live happily every after. He is definitely smoking again (I found the evidence in his room), and he has told us and his therapist that he will no longer attend the IOP that he has been in since leaving the residential program (he only spent about two weeks in IOP). He has no job, no money, and no drivers license. Not sure how far he will get without those things. We have decided that for now, until he turns 18 in June, we will just not do anything for him. We are not waking him up for school any longer (since that decision two days ago, he has walked the 4 or so miles to school two days in a row, about 3 hours late. That is, if he actually WENT to school). I refuse to drive him anywhere, give him money for anything, etc. He will run out of medications, so if he wants to continue therapy, HE will need to find a new doctor. He can easily browse my insurance's website and set up his appointment without my help. I'll drive him there if needed, but nothing more than that. He'll never do it. I am tired of seeking out docs, taking time off from work to bring him to appts, then listen to difficult child say how much he dislikes the doctor/therapist. Last plug to pull (other than giving him a bed to sleep in) is the cell phone. I think I will give him a date that I will no longer pay for it. of course, if he has the phone, I can track where he is, but that's not really "detaching", is it? Taking it day by day, and some are harder than others. I do with there was a support group I could attend. I know there are alanon and narcanon groups, but not sure how many attendees will be parents of teens. Thanks for the support. It really helps! karen [/QUOTE]
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I think I am done, and I am so sad...
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