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The Watercooler
I think I have made a big mistake - long
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 410027" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Star, there is a whole lot of stuff in that post, most of which I find a bit confusing as to what you are really trying to say or tell me.</p><p></p><p>So all I can say is - there is no one in this world that I want to feel sorry for me, or take pity on me. That is an attitude I run from, and god forbid, if my post sounded like I wanted that pity. I DO NOT.</p><p></p><p>What I am truly trying to come to terms with, is whether or not I finish the book and walk through the fire of catharsis - or run away again, and "just work". I know how to "work", I have done that my whole life - and yet I ruined every relationship I have been in because I don't know how to do anything but work - "do", "fix", "restore". I have never worked on the inner pain that keeps me from being whole.</p><p></p><p>I do not want that for me anymore. I want to be whole, and real, and present, and strong in the face of all adversity, without having triggers or ptsd moments. I want to be normal. And I need the road to which that leads.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 410027, member: 3301"] Star, there is a whole lot of stuff in that post, most of which I find a bit confusing as to what you are really trying to say or tell me. So all I can say is - there is no one in this world that I want to feel sorry for me, or take pity on me. That is an attitude I run from, and god forbid, if my post sounded like I wanted that pity. I DO NOT. What I am truly trying to come to terms with, is whether or not I finish the book and walk through the fire of catharsis - or run away again, and "just work". I know how to "work", I have done that my whole life - and yet I ruined every relationship I have been in because I don't know how to do anything but work - "do", "fix", "restore". I have never worked on the inner pain that keeps me from being whole. I do not want that for me anymore. I want to be whole, and real, and present, and strong in the face of all adversity, without having triggers or ptsd moments. I want to be normal. And I need the road to which that leads. [/QUOTE]
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I think I have made a big mistake - long
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