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General Parenting
I think I may have lost my son today
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<blockquote data-quote="wisernow" data-source="post: 734115" data-attributes="member: 20373"><p>I am so so sorry you are going through this. Know that you have landed in a very supportive community and others will be along shortly. Couple of things.</p><p>How old is your son? It sounds like he has been violent with both you and your husband a number of times. If so, why are you allowing that, and not having him face the consequences of his actions? I know that it is very very difficult, but he is no longer from the sounds of it a child, rather a young man who chooses his behavior. His behavior wont change if the consequences are not there. We endured the same thing with a son who had addiction and mental health issues. Interestingly we became like the frogs in the slowly boiling water and did not see how totally dysfunctional our situation had become because we thought OUR LOVE could change things. Guess what? It didn't. And as many members on this board will tell you if love could change these kids there would be no need for this forum. They need therapy, boundaries, consequences. Please evaluate where you and your husband are with this and make some plans for the future. Are you both getting counseling for this? If he is violent he should not be welcome in your house. As for your mom, I know my mom was very very uncomfortable having my son with her alone, although he was not violent with her, she knew his background and drug usage. I agree with BBB that hospitalization would be a better choice because at least he could get some help and you and your husband could find a path that works for you both. Hugs and keep posting. We all help each other on this long and sometimes frightening path.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wisernow, post: 734115, member: 20373"] I am so so sorry you are going through this. Know that you have landed in a very supportive community and others will be along shortly. Couple of things. How old is your son? It sounds like he has been violent with both you and your husband a number of times. If so, why are you allowing that, and not having him face the consequences of his actions? I know that it is very very difficult, but he is no longer from the sounds of it a child, rather a young man who chooses his behavior. His behavior wont change if the consequences are not there. We endured the same thing with a son who had addiction and mental health issues. Interestingly we became like the frogs in the slowly boiling water and did not see how totally dysfunctional our situation had become because we thought OUR LOVE could change things. Guess what? It didn't. And as many members on this board will tell you if love could change these kids there would be no need for this forum. They need therapy, boundaries, consequences. Please evaluate where you and your husband are with this and make some plans for the future. Are you both getting counseling for this? If he is violent he should not be welcome in your house. As for your mom, I know my mom was very very uncomfortable having my son with her alone, although he was not violent with her, she knew his background and drug usage. I agree with BBB that hospitalization would be a better choice because at least he could get some help and you and your husband could find a path that works for you both. Hugs and keep posting. We all help each other on this long and sometimes frightening path. [/QUOTE]
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I think I may have lost my son today
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