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Substance Abuse
I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
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<blockquote data-quote="ColleenB" data-source="post: 696109" data-attributes="member: 19887"><p>He isn't homeless... He has an appartment. But he often comes home to eat. We don't actually mind as we get to see him and usually he is pleasant to us. It's just been the last few weeks he has been rude to me... Not really rude, but enough for me to know something was up. </p><p></p><p>He claims that he was buying for friends.... We told him that makes him a drug dealer... End ... </p><p></p><p>Husband seems strong about no more car or money. I will be the one he will try to influence, but i know I can't cave. </p><p></p><p>We told him if he did need a drive to work we will help with drives. That way it's just to work, and he can't use the car to deal. We will see if he asks for drives.... </p><p></p><p>We aren't the types to completely detach... I know many of you do, and I get it. I've been doing a lot of reading about the CRAFT method... Trying that. It's about natural consequences, like no car due to dealing, and keeping communication open and not angry. That's the hard part sometimes. However with our son, anger never works, he will run away... Has always hated fighting. We are going to use compassion but this time with firmer and clearer boundaries. No car, no money. He can eat at our house if he needs. </p><p></p><p>As long as he isn't high or abusive I will let him in the house. He isn't usually either of those. He is more grumpy .... He was never a rude kid, never fought with us ever. It's all so terrible. </p><p></p><p>We both come from alcoholic families, and my son being an alcoholic was always a deep fear. I can't believe it's happened. I'm so sad. We gave him a very stable, loving and supportive home. I guess I figured that would be enough, it wasn't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ColleenB, post: 696109, member: 19887"] He isn't homeless... He has an appartment. But he often comes home to eat. We don't actually mind as we get to see him and usually he is pleasant to us. It's just been the last few weeks he has been rude to me... Not really rude, but enough for me to know something was up. He claims that he was buying for friends.... We told him that makes him a drug dealer... End ... Husband seems strong about no more car or money. I will be the one he will try to influence, but i know I can't cave. We told him if he did need a drive to work we will help with drives. That way it's just to work, and he can't use the car to deal. We will see if he asks for drives.... We aren't the types to completely detach... I know many of you do, and I get it. I've been doing a lot of reading about the CRAFT method... Trying that. It's about natural consequences, like no car due to dealing, and keeping communication open and not angry. That's the hard part sometimes. However with our son, anger never works, he will run away... Has always hated fighting. We are going to use compassion but this time with firmer and clearer boundaries. No car, no money. He can eat at our house if he needs. As long as he isn't high or abusive I will let him in the house. He isn't usually either of those. He is more grumpy .... He was never a rude kid, never fought with us ever. It's all so terrible. We both come from alcoholic families, and my son being an alcoholic was always a deep fear. I can't believe it's happened. I'm so sad. We gave him a very stable, loving and supportive home. I guess I figured that would be enough, it wasn't. [/QUOTE]
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I think I'm done.... I can't live a lie
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