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I think it's ALL over!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 303081" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>mog, I think at this point, fear is your worst enemy. I mentioned before that the "commitment" might not be as bad as you think it will be. Even if he's tried as an adult, that doesn't mean he'll be put in a facility with adults or housed with adults- there are laws against that in most states if not all. Truthfully, I think it is best for him if he can't get back in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I felt the same about my son so I'm not saying it to be critical. If he has been receiving mental health care- more than mst- I mean medications and/or therapy for some issue other than behavior- you have a valid reason to ask the judge to include mental health treatment in his/her order for difficult child, even if he's committed. That will ensure that the facility gives at least something to him.</p><p></p><p>I tend to worry a lot about difficult child's and my long-term futures, too, so I understand but we can really only try to deal with today and prepare for the short-term future (the next year). At least that is the way I look at it. It sounds like the difficult child crisis has spun the entire family into chaos, which is not uncommon. If you resolve yourself that difficult child needs to be someplace else for a while and he goes, you can then take a breather and see if husband will work with you to get back a better relationship and restore your "household", even if that means some therapy for you both.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, instead of pushing to keep your son from committal right now, I think you and he would be better off now and in the future, to talk to his attny and push for things like making sure they send your son to a safe facility (make sure they have him doccumented as non-violent), getting recommendations from people for mental health treatment while he's there, etc. It's not the end of the world. MST gave you hope for a while but it's not what it's made out to be, in my humble opinion, it's nothing but an "enabler" in the system. Personally, I thought I would die when my son was committed but it's better than falling thru the loopholes and continuing to get worse until he did something that 1 or 2 years incarcerated wouldn't be enough. </p><p></p><p>Obviously, your son is not going to turn himself around until he decides to and he's not going to decide to until he has a rude awakening it sounds like. It will be a whole lot better for him to have that happen at 16 or 17 yo than in his 20's. I know it's not ideal- I'm living thru this remember, and our system hoovers. But as I'd LOVE to tell the people in the system, we can't make any of it ideal, we can only look at the feasible options that are there and advocate for the best of those options and if something has not worked, then we shouldn't keep trying it.</p><p></p><p>Do you know the serenity prayer? (You don't need to be religious for that one.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 303081, member: 3699"] mog, I think at this point, fear is your worst enemy. I mentioned before that the "commitment" might not be as bad as you think it will be. Even if he's tried as an adult, that doesn't mean he'll be put in a facility with adults or housed with adults- there are laws against that in most states if not all. Truthfully, I think it is best for him if he can't get back in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I felt the same about my son so I'm not saying it to be critical. If he has been receiving mental health care- more than mst- I mean medications and/or therapy for some issue other than behavior- you have a valid reason to ask the judge to include mental health treatment in his/her order for difficult child, even if he's committed. That will ensure that the facility gives at least something to him. I tend to worry a lot about difficult child's and my long-term futures, too, so I understand but we can really only try to deal with today and prepare for the short-term future (the next year). At least that is the way I look at it. It sounds like the difficult child crisis has spun the entire family into chaos, which is not uncommon. If you resolve yourself that difficult child needs to be someplace else for a while and he goes, you can then take a breather and see if husband will work with you to get back a better relationship and restore your "household", even if that means some therapy for you both. Honestly, instead of pushing to keep your son from committal right now, I think you and he would be better off now and in the future, to talk to his attny and push for things like making sure they send your son to a safe facility (make sure they have him doccumented as non-violent), getting recommendations from people for mental health treatment while he's there, etc. It's not the end of the world. MST gave you hope for a while but it's not what it's made out to be, in my humble opinion, it's nothing but an "enabler" in the system. Personally, I thought I would die when my son was committed but it's better than falling thru the loopholes and continuing to get worse until he did something that 1 or 2 years incarcerated wouldn't be enough. Obviously, your son is not going to turn himself around until he decides to and he's not going to decide to until he has a rude awakening it sounds like. It will be a whole lot better for him to have that happen at 16 or 17 yo than in his 20's. I know it's not ideal- I'm living thru this remember, and our system hoovers. But as I'd LOVE to tell the people in the system, we can't make any of it ideal, we can only look at the feasible options that are there and advocate for the best of those options and if something has not worked, then we shouldn't keep trying it. Do you know the serenity prayer? (You don't need to be religious for that one.) [/QUOTE]
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