Several parts of your post hit home with me. While I dont struggle with alcohol or pot, I do have food issues. I also weigh someplace around 300. I have lived with the stares from people as took my kids out places. My kids were thin and I always felt people thought I starved them to feed myself. I heard the snide comments. I dont know why people think its perfectly ok to say rude things to overweight people.
A few years ago I lost over a hundred pounds and I was so thrilled. I thought I had this weight thing licked and I could keep going and I would feel even better. Ha! Im bipolar and the docs changed my medications on me and every darn pound came back on. I tried to tell them not to mess with my medications but no one would listen to me. They stuck me on weight gainers...lithium, antipsychotics, etc and I gained mega pounds in just a few short months. Now the medications I was on before arent working the way they were before and I cant lose the weight again.
I did lose the weight on a combo of topamax and wellbutrin by the way.
I also had GYN issues and had to get a hysterectomy in 2004. I felt much better.
There have been days and continue to be days that I dont want to go on. I have bipolar and I struggle with depression constantly. I tend to isolate myself as much as possible. I dont have many friends. The internet tends to be my life. Sad aint it?
