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I think you really should start going to AA meetings or seeing a therapist. You sound extremely overwhelmed. An antidepressant probably wouldn't hurt either.


I have been overweight in the past. I gained 90 lbs while prego with difficult child. Take baby steps. Start walking, it will make you feel so much better and can help with the depression.


Try to keep in mind that the bottle only masks problems. You feel better drunk because you don't have to think but it is only making your problems worse. It will only add to your medical and emotional issues right now.


If I were you, I would hold off on the hysterectomy for now. It can throw you into an even deeper deppression from the hormonal changes that can happen. I too have had female problems. My doctor put me on continuous birth control. I have never felt better. The first few months were bad... bleeding for almost 3 months but since I've been great.


I really think you need to see your psychiatrist and a therapist to start out. Start getting out and going for a walk. It will help start an exercise program. Do you have a Curves or something like that near you? I think it would also be helpful for you. Might even help you find some new friends to help you really get into an exercise program.


Sorry you are having such a hard time. ((((hugs)))


Steph


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