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General Parenting
I threw my son out of the house today, and i feel like the worst mother.
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<blockquote data-quote="ready2run" data-source="post: 441371" data-attributes="member: 11339"><p>treatment programs teach tools and give coping mechanisms that are healthier than drug use. they teach people how to deal with their problems before they get to the point of using over them. they do work, but only if the person is willing to put in the effort and keep working everyday until it becomes second nature to just do the necessary steps. i know, i have been there done that. it doesn't work for people who don't want it to. you can't force someone to do it or make them put the work in. what you can do, is what you have done. stop enabling. let him get hit with the consequences of his actions. this will be the first step towards him realising he has a problem. i also strongly suggest al-anon. it seems odd when you first join, they have alot of saying and words that you don't hear in day to day life but it all makes sense if you stick around long enough to get a good understanding. you will also find alot of moral support there from other parents in the same position. i know my relationship with my parents improved alot after i sent my mom into al-anon. i am clean now for 5 years, almost six so we can turn things around and likely your son will when he is ready. it will take him some time, maybe alot of time, to learn his lesson. make sure he knows you are there for him if he needs to talk or needs help figuring things out but don't bail him out when he causes problems for himself, don't give him $$ or pay for everything for him and don't protect him from the consequences of his actions. (easier said than done)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ready2run, post: 441371, member: 11339"] treatment programs teach tools and give coping mechanisms that are healthier than drug use. they teach people how to deal with their problems before they get to the point of using over them. they do work, but only if the person is willing to put in the effort and keep working everyday until it becomes second nature to just do the necessary steps. i know, i have been there done that. it doesn't work for people who don't want it to. you can't force someone to do it or make them put the work in. what you can do, is what you have done. stop enabling. let him get hit with the consequences of his actions. this will be the first step towards him realising he has a problem. i also strongly suggest al-anon. it seems odd when you first join, they have alot of saying and words that you don't hear in day to day life but it all makes sense if you stick around long enough to get a good understanding. you will also find alot of moral support there from other parents in the same position. i know my relationship with my parents improved alot after i sent my mom into al-anon. i am clean now for 5 years, almost six so we can turn things around and likely your son will when he is ready. it will take him some time, maybe alot of time, to learn his lesson. make sure he knows you are there for him if he needs to talk or needs help figuring things out but don't bail him out when he causes problems for himself, don't give him $$ or pay for everything for him and don't protect him from the consequences of his actions. (easier said than done) [/QUOTE]
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I threw my son out of the house today, and i feel like the worst mother.
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