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I tried to evict my dear son....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 281050" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think you did the right thing.</p><p></p><p>He really hasn't got a lot of choice. Wherever he goes, he will have house rules to abide by. At least you and your rules are coming form a position of love. Friends - not so much. How long do you think he would last at a mate's place, if the mate came home to find difficult child had eaten all the food in the house AND left the washing up?</p><p></p><p>We set up house rules with our (older) kids, we all lived as if we were in share accomodation, but with husband's & my names on the lease. If they whhined about the food, they were asked to take over and plan their own meal to their own liking, but it had to fit in with the household budget requirements, they had to plan for the meal, shop for it and cook it, to fit in with the movements of everyone else in the house. We ALL have to let everyone else know when we're gonig out, where we're going and how long we expect to be. I let the kids know, they let me know. It's a matter of common courtesy, because how can you make plans if you don't know who will be home for dinner?</p><p></p><p>In the same way, we all helped one another with other chores, such as washing. It was based to a certain extent on who had the time and what they were doing with the time. Those working full-time paid board and weren't expected to so as much (although they did their own washing and washing-up). Those with more free time were expected to do more but pay less. Occasionally we'd round up all household members and have them outside digging or weeding. husband would grab whichever handy adult male was around and get their help with any heavy lifting. It's not slavery, it's cooperation. They learn skills they can use, plus they learn how to be helpful to other people, how to anticipate a need and then step in to do something productive.</p><p></p><p>It's not easy to do, and if he's being especially selfish and difficult, then maybe he needs a spell of time finding out the hard way, that you can't walk over other people and still expect them to do nice things for you.</p><p></p><p>You did well.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 281050, member: 1991"] I think you did the right thing. He really hasn't got a lot of choice. Wherever he goes, he will have house rules to abide by. At least you and your rules are coming form a position of love. Friends - not so much. How long do you think he would last at a mate's place, if the mate came home to find difficult child had eaten all the food in the house AND left the washing up? We set up house rules with our (older) kids, we all lived as if we were in share accomodation, but with husband's & my names on the lease. If they whhined about the food, they were asked to take over and plan their own meal to their own liking, but it had to fit in with the household budget requirements, they had to plan for the meal, shop for it and cook it, to fit in with the movements of everyone else in the house. We ALL have to let everyone else know when we're gonig out, where we're going and how long we expect to be. I let the kids know, they let me know. It's a matter of common courtesy, because how can you make plans if you don't know who will be home for dinner? In the same way, we all helped one another with other chores, such as washing. It was based to a certain extent on who had the time and what they were doing with the time. Those working full-time paid board and weren't expected to so as much (although they did their own washing and washing-up). Those with more free time were expected to do more but pay less. Occasionally we'd round up all household members and have them outside digging or weeding. husband would grab whichever handy adult male was around and get their help with any heavy lifting. It's not slavery, it's cooperation. They learn skills they can use, plus they learn how to be helpful to other people, how to anticipate a need and then step in to do something productive. It's not easy to do, and if he's being especially selfish and difficult, then maybe he needs a spell of time finding out the hard way, that you can't walk over other people and still expect them to do nice things for you. You did well. Marg [/QUOTE]
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