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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 183194" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Everyone finds their own level of tolerance for things. </p><p> </p><p>Everyday I went to work with a man in construction. We were working with huge steel ductile pipes, bolts and nuts. Sometimes we were 40' down in a ditch and had to be staged to get out of the hole via a trench box. We were required to have a hard hat, goggles, steel toe boots, and gloves. At ANY moment - we all knew that the sides could cave in and we could be burried alive. </p><p> </p><p>I figured I've taken enough risks in my life - I'm wearing all the safety equipment I can get - and I put a whistle around my neck so if it did cave in I could blow it and be dug out first. Once you face things in your life that jeopardize your survival? You accept the precautions. Until I had lived through it myself? I had no idea how much I was putting myself into jeopardy. </p><p> </p><p>A man I worked with continually every day was told by the super - to get a hard hat, did he have shoes with steel toes, where were his gloves. He was inexperienced and like a lot of us who have never had to go through a situaton where our lives can be in jeopardy he figured "No big deal", and continued to do what he did every day. Eventually it got to a point where he was sent home (loosing a days pay) because we all got tired of telling him to take precautions. </p><p> </p><p>One day he lied about his boots. He didn't get sent home - he had the rest of his gear. And a pipe fell out of the sling and on his foot, crushing it to non-reparable state. Had he had the steel toes on - he would have toes today. And despite all the warnings and well meaning advice- he continued to do his own thing, at his own pace - and eventually it cost him his toes. </p><p> </p><p>A few months after recovery - he showed back up to the site with TWO steel toed boots. The men laughed and said "You should have saved the money and just bought the right boot - your toes are already gone!" and they laughed. And he said "Well I learned a lesson on my own the hard way but I still have a foot left - and I'll need that so I can work." </p><p> </p><p>And I thought - HOW odd it was. Every day here we all were telling him how dangerous this job site was - and how every day he continued to do his own thing -UNTIL disaster struck. And I guess each of us has been there. We have or do what WE think gets us by until disaster strikes. I know I've been there - my marriage to a drug addict, abusive man - why did I stay? Why would anyone stay? </p><p> </p><p>And I think this may be the same for you Sue - You've got a lot of people standing on the sides yelling for you to get your safety equipment on because we have a good idea what will happen - and the frustration comes when we hear you get hurt. The hard part in wanting to help someone else because you KNOW what will happen is hearing them say "But why did this happen again?" and like the young man above that lost his toes - eventually we stopped telling him to get his equipment, and just let him go - and then he lied about his situation to himself and us = and he lost his toes. IT's not much different than allowing your kid to suffer the consequences. But one thing is for sure - that man will NEVER work construction again without steel toe boots - he learned his lesson because he was ALLOWED to learn it. High price? Sure - he could have been killed. But he was not. </p><p> </p><p>No one wants to see you loose your son. But eventually even caterpillars are given the freedom to fly. I like that saying that says THere are 2 things we can give our children - roots (which you have) and wings (which you aren't quite willing to give him) - wherever he flies hon - it's got to be on HIS wings. Not on YOUR coat tails. </p><p> </p><p>been there done that - coulda wrote the book. lol </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 183194, member: 4964"] Everyone finds their own level of tolerance for things. Everyday I went to work with a man in construction. We were working with huge steel ductile pipes, bolts and nuts. Sometimes we were 40' down in a ditch and had to be staged to get out of the hole via a trench box. We were required to have a hard hat, goggles, steel toe boots, and gloves. At ANY moment - we all knew that the sides could cave in and we could be burried alive. I figured I've taken enough risks in my life - I'm wearing all the safety equipment I can get - and I put a whistle around my neck so if it did cave in I could blow it and be dug out first. Once you face things in your life that jeopardize your survival? You accept the precautions. Until I had lived through it myself? I had no idea how much I was putting myself into jeopardy. A man I worked with continually every day was told by the super - to get a hard hat, did he have shoes with steel toes, where were his gloves. He was inexperienced and like a lot of us who have never had to go through a situaton where our lives can be in jeopardy he figured "No big deal", and continued to do what he did every day. Eventually it got to a point where he was sent home (loosing a days pay) because we all got tired of telling him to take precautions. One day he lied about his boots. He didn't get sent home - he had the rest of his gear. And a pipe fell out of the sling and on his foot, crushing it to non-reparable state. Had he had the steel toes on - he would have toes today. And despite all the warnings and well meaning advice- he continued to do his own thing, at his own pace - and eventually it cost him his toes. A few months after recovery - he showed back up to the site with TWO steel toed boots. The men laughed and said "You should have saved the money and just bought the right boot - your toes are already gone!" and they laughed. And he said "Well I learned a lesson on my own the hard way but I still have a foot left - and I'll need that so I can work." And I thought - HOW odd it was. Every day here we all were telling him how dangerous this job site was - and how every day he continued to do his own thing -UNTIL disaster struck. And I guess each of us has been there. We have or do what WE think gets us by until disaster strikes. I know I've been there - my marriage to a drug addict, abusive man - why did I stay? Why would anyone stay? And I think this may be the same for you Sue - You've got a lot of people standing on the sides yelling for you to get your safety equipment on because we have a good idea what will happen - and the frustration comes when we hear you get hurt. The hard part in wanting to help someone else because you KNOW what will happen is hearing them say "But why did this happen again?" and like the young man above that lost his toes - eventually we stopped telling him to get his equipment, and just let him go - and then he lied about his situation to himself and us = and he lost his toes. IT's not much different than allowing your kid to suffer the consequences. But one thing is for sure - that man will NEVER work construction again without steel toe boots - he learned his lesson because he was ALLOWED to learn it. High price? Sure - he could have been killed. But he was not. No one wants to see you loose your son. But eventually even caterpillars are given the freedom to fly. I like that saying that says THere are 2 things we can give our children - roots (which you have) and wings (which you aren't quite willing to give him) - wherever he flies hon - it's got to be on HIS wings. Not on YOUR coat tails. been there done that - coulda wrote the book. lol Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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