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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 186790" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I really think you still don't understand. None of us are talking about him. We are talking about you.</p><p></p><p>What we have been saying for the past year is that you won't ever understand. Period. You need to stop trying to understand. You are not him, and you need to stop trying to figure it out. If you stop, maybe he will stop doing drugs because he won't feel like you need to understand. Or maybe he'll stop because he stopped getting a rise out of you. </p><p></p><p>I swear to goodness, Susan, if I were getting the kind of attention out of my mom that your son is getting out of you, I'd probably be high all of the time, too. You're smothering him.</p><p></p><p>I also think you won't understand this message. It's <strong>you</strong> that is the problem we see and are advising you about. No one here is advising you about your son anymore. We haven't been since last October. The only thing you can ever do anymore to change your son is to totally and completely ignore him.</p><p></p><p>I will try one more time. Make a mantra. The next time you ask yourself, "Why does he...?" answer to yourself, "It doesn't matter." When you say "What if he...?" say "It doesn't matter." When you say "What if I do (or had done) this or that for my son?" say to yourself "It won't (or wouldn't have) mattered.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, <strong>you</strong> seem to have serious issues about yourself and who and what you are or should be at this point in your life. You use your son as a smoke screen so that people won't see how screwed up your life is - <em>whatever</em> it is that is screwed up about it. I don't know what it is you are trying to hide, but don't you think it's time you stopped blaming it on your son? Maybe if you stop making him your problem, he won't be a problem any more.</p><p></p><p>Did I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry. I just don't know how to say it anymore without being blunt blunt blunt. Please take this to your counselor and talk to her about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 186790, member: 99"] I really think you still don't understand. None of us are talking about him. We are talking about you. What we have been saying for the past year is that you won't ever understand. Period. You need to stop trying to understand. You are not him, and you need to stop trying to figure it out. If you stop, maybe he will stop doing drugs because he won't feel like you need to understand. Or maybe he'll stop because he stopped getting a rise out of you. I swear to goodness, Susan, if I were getting the kind of attention out of my mom that your son is getting out of you, I'd probably be high all of the time, too. You're smothering him. I also think you won't understand this message. It's [B]you[/B] that is the problem we see and are advising you about. No one here is advising you about your son anymore. We haven't been since last October. The only thing you can ever do anymore to change your son is to totally and completely ignore him. I will try one more time. Make a mantra. The next time you ask yourself, "Why does he...?" answer to yourself, "It doesn't matter." When you say "What if he...?" say "It doesn't matter." When you say "What if I do (or had done) this or that for my son?" say to yourself "It won't (or wouldn't have) mattered. Honestly, [B]you[/B] seem to have serious issues about yourself and who and what you are or should be at this point in your life. You use your son as a smoke screen so that people won't see how screwed up your life is - [I]whatever[/I] it is that is screwed up about it. I don't know what it is you are trying to hide, but don't you think it's time you stopped blaming it on your son? Maybe if you stop making him your problem, he won't be a problem any more. Did I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry. I just don't know how to say it anymore without being blunt blunt blunt. Please take this to your counselor and talk to her about it. [/QUOTE]
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