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General Parenting
I want a "do over".....
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 327533" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><span style="font-size: 12px">As I've watched the tweedles grow emotionally, then wane & spiral out of control I think of the many times husband, myself & the treatment teams have given kt & wm "do overs" to learn.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I now want a do over. I want to scream at all the nonsense & antics that are my difficult children. I want to "rethink" our decision to do the many things we've done to see if another way would have been better. I want to mother my children the way I was mothered. I lost that chance with the tweedles - the chance to nurture, the chance to snuggle & cuddle when they most needed me. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want a do over. I want the chance to bake holiday cookies with-o it becoming a crisis between kt & wm.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want a do over. I want to scream at the top of my lungs instead of being the therapeutic parent all the time - stuffing my feelings. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want a do over. I want my children home with me & at the same time I hate what has happened to them; hate the cause of their "antics". </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want kt's dissociative states to calm; to begin to believe that she is a loving warm individual worth a great deal to others. That she is a brilliant young lady & to not just settle.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want wm to learn from the many many interventions, consequences &/or rewards he's been given. I want to see him succeed in life. To recognize his talents & use them to further success. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want a do over. I will not get it like the tweedles did so many times in their lives. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want a do over. I will not get it - I want husband back - I will not get that either.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I want a do over. Funny thing, do overs aren't a reality in life. It may be something we use to teach our children, but the real world doesn't let us go back & "do over" life's decisions.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">AND with all the do overs I've seen kt & wm given it just doesn't work.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span><span style="font-size: 12px">I know many parents second guess themselves all the time - it's time to let go of hindsight. It only creates doubt, depression & despair. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">Sad ~ I still want my "do over".</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 327533, member: 393"] [SIZE=3]As I've watched the tweedles grow emotionally, then wane & spiral out of control I think of the many times husband, myself & the treatment teams have given kt & wm "do overs" to learn. I now want a do over. I want to scream at all the nonsense & antics that are my difficult children. I want to "rethink" our decision to do the many things we've done to see if another way would have been better. I want to mother my children the way I was mothered. I lost that chance with the tweedles - the chance to nurture, the chance to snuggle & cuddle when they most needed me. I want a do over. I want the chance to bake holiday cookies with-o it becoming a crisis between kt & wm. I want a do over. I want to scream at the top of my lungs instead of being the therapeutic parent all the time - stuffing my feelings. I want a do over. I want my children home with me & at the same time I hate what has happened to them; hate the cause of their "antics". I want kt's dissociative states to calm; to begin to believe that she is a loving warm individual worth a great deal to others. That she is a brilliant young lady & to not just settle. I want wm to learn from the many many interventions, consequences &/or rewards he's been given. I want to see him succeed in life. To recognize his talents & use them to further success. I want a do over. I will not get it like the tweedles did so many times in their lives. I want a do over. I will not get it - I want husband back - I will not get that either. I want a do over. Funny thing, do overs aren't a reality in life. It may be something we use to teach our children, but the real world doesn't let us go back & "do over" life's decisions. AND with all the do overs I've seen kt & wm given it just doesn't work. [/SIZE][SIZE=3]I know many parents second guess themselves all the time - it's time to let go of hindsight. It only creates doubt, depression & despair. Sad ~ I still want my "do over". [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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